“I love my Halloween costume. Aaahh, I love it, I love it, I love it. I wish I could always wear my Halloween costume and just never take it off, never never never! Ha-hah, ahh, no, I’m kidding. Can you imagine what that would be like? I would wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and see the reflection of myself, wearing my mask. I would probably just stare and stare. ‘Who is this guy?!’ ha-ha, right? I’d be like, ‘who is this guy,’ and then I’d just keep looking at him. Ah, anyway. I love the way the plastic feels against my skin. Smooth but not too smooth, and there are all the contours where the face parts of the mask are, and it smells so good inside. There are nostril holes but sometimes I like to slide the mask up on my face and cover the nostril holes with my fingers so I can just breathe the mask in. What is your favorite part of the face of my mask? You don’t have to answer right away. It took me a long time to figure it out for myself — I had to look at it a lot off of my face, and then I had to look at it a lot on my face — but I think my favorite part of the face of my mask is the contour of my chin. Hah, I bet you thought I was going to say all the brown around my eyes, right? Rookie movie! Yeah, maybe in the first few hours my favorite part of my mask’s face was the brown around the eyes, the maybe the eyebrows, then the cheekbones, but you learn something special when you look at it for a lot longer than that first bunch of hours. Do you know who I am? Hey. Hey. Do you know who I am? Let me give you a hint — ‘BAZINGAA!'” – You. (Via BlameItOn.)