Grab your tinfoil hats! Grab your BookIt reading log! Grab your EMF detectors and your cameras! Grab a sweater and light jacket but wear a tank top underneath your sweater because you know with weather like this you’re either going to be uncomfortably warm or a little bit cold! Grab your Fanboy Kevs and your Paulys! Grab your hand sanitizer and diarrhea medicine and GTFO because THERE’S A HAUNTED BATHROOM IN A PIZZA HUT ON LONG ISLAND!!!

Pauly describes the grisly details in his YouTube video, via Gothamist:

“According to a recent investigation by the Long Island Paranormal Investigators, they determined that a while ago, when this restaurant was a Jack In The Box, a man or a woman either committed suicide or was murdered in the bathroom. Supposedly, when you’re in the bathrooms at a Pizza Hut, you will feel cold spots and hear whispering.”

Fast food chains may change, but the chains which hold ghosts to this Earthly unresting ground remain, coldly and spookily, forever. Pauly and his friend Fanboy Kev take us into the restaurant and capture the details for themselves. Please be warned that this video contains some SPOOKY content, e.g. men standing in darkened bathrooms alone and audibly counting to five, a story about pots falling off of shelves, and the pièce de résistance — a womanly ghost figure crudely drawn on top of in the corner of the bathroom, by the toilet.

Out of fear, of course, I laughed more at this video than any video in recent memory. It’s hard to believe that Pauly and Fanboy Kev didn’t alter the video, given the clear evidence it provides, but they seem trustworthy and I do trust that they did not. Let’s run over it one more time:

Chilling. And so cruel that the ghost has chosen to haunt a bathroom that everyone definitely needs to use, like, immediately. (Thanks for the tip, Alison!)