“So don’t be a liar / don’t say that all the trailer embeds are broken / when all the trailer embeds are working / ’cause you smile like a saint / but you curse like a trailer / and your eyes say that it’s time to watch trailers wiiith meee!” That was Dashboard Confessional’s “Saints and Trailers.” Yep, okay! We’re off to a great start that is perfectly easy to understand and find amusing! Let’s just watch some trailers, huh? Please?

American Hustle

Yes, yes yes yes. I’d like to watch this movie right now, in a movie theater, with some snacks, and some alcohol snuck in. This looks great! Congrats to Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence. They really did it. They could’ve both easily not done it, but they went ahead and did it. Great work. Can’t wait. Yes.

Charlie Countryman

Hmmm. It seems like this one could go either way? Trailers often give too much away, and I think this one might, too, but it seems like part of what it gives away is that a lot of things are going to happen in this movie, but by the end of it you’re going to shrug and say, “Who cares?” You know? Underneath all of the crazy shit, it seems like it could be a little empty. We’ll see! Or we won’t! Probably we won’t see!

The Armstrong Lie

WAIT, LANCE ARMSTRONG LIED?

SOLO

Annie Clark from DeGrassi IS Jennifer Lawrence in THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T GO CAMPING. Looks like a movie that I will definitely watch when it is on Netflix and I am alone in my apartment and want to be spooked, which sounds like kind of a negative review, but really it is fairly positive. GOODBYE!