Because we all have Twitter, our generation’s The Newspaper, I’m going to assume that most of us are caught up with Senator Ted “We Need 100 More Like Jesse Helms” Cruz’s non-filibuster on the floor of the Senate that began yesterday afternoon. Though it would have no effect on delaying the vote (the vote to fund the government and, with it, Obamacare) he stood and compared Obamacare to Nazi Germany, compared the fight against Obamacare to American Revolution, the Civil War, the Cold War and the moon landing, and quoted Duck Dynasty, (“Jeff said ‘Faith, family and facial hair,’ I point out to the junior senator from Utah, if we continue doing this long enough, we may have facial hair on the floor of the Senate.”) (AHHHHHHHH!) in what will amount to a very long speech. Haha, cool! Great speech! I’ve always loved a good 19-hour speech from an awful lunatic spoken in front of people who overwhelmingly disagree with him. He also spent some time reading Green Eggs and Ham, immediately recognized by everyone else as perhaps not the best choice of children’s book to read while fake-filibustering Obamacare. Want to watch his stupid face while he reads it? You can! But, because this is still America, no matter WHAT Barack Hussein Obama wants, you have a choice: you can either watch his stupid, enraging face reading Green Eggs and Ham OR you can watch a child eating ice cream for the first time. It’s up to you. The choice is yours! QUICK, WHILE YOU STILL CAN!

I hope you chose correctly! Have a nice day!