On Under the Dome last night, after the riots broke out and before the rain, the cop told Barbie that the other cop told her, on her first day of the job, that when things like this happen the first thing you have to do is keep your cool (or something) and the second thing you have to do is whatever is necessary. As the closest thing to a cop we have for us at Videogum (one of two bloggers) I’m going to put on a happy face and tell you that you should just relax. Please stay calm and proceed to the exits (the exits in front of your open graves) slowly and, while proceeding, please shut your mouths and listen to what I have to tell you: Robots have developed the ability to find our veins, (even if you have veins that the doctors and nurses always tell you are kind of hidden, which you think they much just be saying because maybe they’re new) (and they don’t want to just tell you that they’ve been poking around on your arm because they aren’t exactly sure what they’re doing?), poke in needles, and drain our blood. As far as I can tell — AS FAR AS I CAN TELL — they are operating under their own authority and we will be a dead, bloodless species by nightfall. PLEASE DO NOT PANIAHHHHHHH, OKAY, NEVERMIND, DO WHATEVER IS NECESSARY, I THINK THIS IS WHAT THE COP WAS TALKING ABOUT! WHEN YOU GET TOO SCARED BY WHATEVER YOU’RE SAYING?! I DON’T KNOW, STEAL EACH OTHERS IPODS AND JUMP INTO YOUR GRAVES, IT’S ALL OVER!

Or, wait. I guess they’re just–AHHHH, NO, STILL AFRAID, MAKING A SCARY THINK SCARIER, SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE!! (Via Uproxx.)