Kirk Cameron, the star of Left Behind: World At War, and the creative mind behind films like Fireproof and Monumental has a new movie out called Unstoppable, and all he wants to do is share the gospel of his new movie with the good Christians of the world. Naturally. As God intended him to do. But the devil’s Facebook blocked any link, trailer embed, or mention of his film! At least according to Defamer! And also according to Kirk Cameron himself via his Facebook page! He claimed that his trailer was being flagged as inappropriate and spam, which suggests a 4chan style web community effort to troll Kirk Cameron’s new movie, but as the law of Occam’s Razor reminds us, the simplest answer is most often the correct answer, and so the Facebook ban must have been personally handed down by Mark Zuckerberg himself in a sinful attempt to crush the Christian spirit of America! (The ban has been lifted, but that is only because the power of the Lord cannot be stopped by a firewall or a capthca. The Lord is 1.0. #Amen.) Anyways, here is the Kirk Cameron movie trailer that Facebook didn’t want you to see.

Poor Kirk Cameron. I’m serious. All he wants is to lead a good and meaningful life and to make the world a better place. That’s what he wants! It’s better than what I want, which is an infinite number of wishes, a recurring guest starring arc on New Girl, a mansion where the floors are all bouncy castle floors, and a date with Freida Pinto. (That’s all, though, I don’t think my demands are unreasoanble.) Now, Kirk Cameron’s fundamental problem stems from the fact that he has latched onto the most retrograde brand of evangelical Christianity which subscribes to a foundational belief system that does the exact opposite of making the world a better place. It denies climate change and promotes the decidedly un-Christian idea that some of “God’s creatures” are indeed less valuable than others. So that’s a larger, and ultimately more fundamental problem for Kirk Cameron.

But on a more immediate and one assumes visceral level for him, poor Kirk Cameron looks at his desire to be a good person and make the world a better place through the lens of embracing one’s skill set and one’s knowledge base and working from there. You start with what you are good at, and you try to find a way to use what you are already good at to achieve your goals. That’s nice! But all Kirk Cameron is good at is feeling comfortable saying stupid things in front of a camera. And so it is the exact skill set that Kirk Cameron brings to the table that keeps his goals forever out of reach (I mean, that and the backwards ideas about gays and science). He becomes a punching bag for the media and a punchline for the Internet and no one shows up to his birthday.

The question of why God allows bad things to happen to good people is a totally interesting and valid question to wrestle with. Even if you don’t believe in God! (The simple answer of “because She doesn’t exist” doesn’t actually answer the question. Even if you are an atheist or agnostic, you understand the concept of God, and you understand that people believe in God, and working within that framework makes it a very interesting and curious puzzle. Grow up.) But holy moly, the idea of watching Kirk Cameron wrestle with that question while some parody of the True Blood opening credits starring Adam and Eve plays in the background really makes you hate Hebrew School all over again.

And so it is.