We’re closing up a little early today to get started on America’s holiday weekend, so, uh-hello, our day is going PERFECTLY, THANK YOU FOR ASKING! Unlike Alec Baldwin’s day, during which he told Vanity Fair that being at James Gandolfini’s funeral made him realize how pointless Twitter is (fair enough realization, maybe the venue doesn’t matter?) (jk), and also that he would very much like to quit acting:

I’m having a baby. And everyone has seen how certain things have played out with my daughter, which as been very painful—it’s been really unpleasant. That has consequences, and I do not want that to happen with my next child. I have one dream in my life and that is that this daughter I’m having—she comes to me about seven or eight years from now, she has a friend, and she’s at her house and she says, “Daddy, Susie’s mom says you used to be on TV. Daddy, is that true?” She has no knowledge of me as a public person. That would be heaven for me.

When pressed if he is saying that he is going to quit acting, he responds:

I’d love to if I could, yeah. That would be the greatest thing in the world.

So he isn’t going to quit acting, then? Okay. Is he even really going to quit Twitter?! Ahh, WHO CARES! It’s the holiday, we don’t even have to pretend to care about Alec Baldwin’s inevitable return to Twitter or how he’s going to spend the rest of his life in movies and on television because that is his job! What are you doing for the 4th? Anything fun? What sort of snacks are you going to make? Did you buy illegal fireworks? Leave your snacks and illegal purchases in the comments. See you next week!  (Via Dlisted.)