The case against Public Marriage Proposals is, for the most part, a case against making a private and intensely personal decision public — turning it into a spectacle rather than a decision based on love or the joining of two houses for political gain (Game of Thrones). (Is that what happens in Game of Thrones?) (I just started watching it and there are so many characters and they all look the same and I only listen to what they say about 1/4 of the time. It’s a show about marriage and puppies, right?) There is no such case against Maid of Honor toasts because Maid of Honor toasts are, uh-no doy, public already, and don’t include putting someone on the spot about whether or not they want to look at you for the rest of their life while you and your friends dance to Bruno Mars in the nightly Disney World parade that is being broadcast live on ABC or whatever. BUT SURELY THERE MUST BE SOME SORT OF CASE TO BE MADE AGAINST THIS SPECIFIC MADE OF HONOR TOAST, IN WHICH THIS NICE LADY REPLACES ALL OF THE WORDS TO EMINEM’S “WITHOUT ME” WITH WORDS ABOUT HER SISTER AND HER HUSBAND?!

Just kidding, there is no case to be made against this because it is all perfect. Good rap. Good song choice. Poor non-use of “mom’s spaghetti” but can be forgiven. (Thanks for the tip, Chris Trash!)