Look, I know drones aren’t cool. They were developed for the military in order to wage a “bloodless” war, which really only means “bloodless” for one side. As if that was the only problem with war. As if war would definitely be chill if only our guys didn’t get hurt so much. Look, I don’t want our guys to get hurt, that is obviously not what I am saying, please don’t Zoe Barnes me on this (or even worse, Nancy Jo Sales me). I just mean that a “bloodless” war is not even a little bit “bloodless” and that a “bloodless” war is not as chill as the Don Draper’s at Quantico would like to have you believe. All of that being said, I just saw a video in which a dude flies a drone to deliver a Domino’s pizza SO MAYBE WE NEED TO RETHINK THIS WHOLE THING.

I recently heard some pro on the radio talking about drones and how people were only scared of them right now because they are used to destroy human beings from the sky by a group of 19-year-olds sitting in a windowless room somewhere they didn’t fully understand the civilian possibilities, but that much like the military’s other invention, The Internet, it was only a matter of time before the average person saw the convenience of drone’s in every day life. Which would be a pretty strong argument if drones weren’t just RADIO CONTROLLED AIRPLANES. Those have been around, dude. We just didn’t used to strap ACTUAL MISSILES to them. But you’re going to tell me that a remote controlled pizza plane is the same as a lightning fast communications system designed to transmit the whole of human knowledge across the entire world in the blink of an eye? REMOTE CONTROLLED PIZZA PLANE IS NEAT BUT LET’S PLEASE CHECK OURSELVES, HAWKS.