After the jump, we have a BBC clip sent in by Sara in which a scientist explains how the shape of neanderthal’s throats combined with the weight of their skulls and the broadness of their powerful chests may suggest that their voices were much higher pitched than we might have assumed. OK! I mean, sure. You are the scientist. I guess, just speaking for myself personally, I never made any assumptions whatsoever about what neanderthal voices sounded like. I was too busy doing basically anything other than thinking about what neanderthals might have sounded like. Comedian Greg Johnson has a joke about how he saw an ad on TV that said “Forget everything you thought you knew about log cabins,” and Greg Johnson said, “Done.” That’s how I feel about this clip. Except that the scientist lady has some kind of bug-eyed assistant that she makes count to three (you know how neanderthals were always counting to three, it was their version of blogging) and then keeps making him count to three in higher and more nasal pitches, and his eyes just keep bugging out of his head more and more and then she just has him start screaming like a neanderthal. What? You guys have never seen science before?

Considering the fact that neanderthals no longer exist, and they haven’t existed for the entire history of recorded human civilization (I am talking about actual recording, nerds, not some Lascaux BULLSHIT) all we can really do is make educated guesses about what they might have sounded like. So while I’m sure this lady has done her research, and I’m sure there is some value in having as accurate of a guess as possible about what was what back then, at a certain point you weirdos are just screaming in each other’s faces in some dark room. You know that, right, weirdos? Check your thermometer.