What’s better than a movie that stands on its own in your memory as something you enjoyed as a young person, but not something you’d like to revisit — not out of any ill-will, but out of the hope that you wouldn’t destroy what is a pretty good memory from a certain period in your life with the new realization that the movie SLC Punk wasn’t actually very good? A SEQUEL TO SLC PUNK, CALLED PUNK’S DEAD! From PRNewswire:

“I made SLC PUNK when I was a kid, and accordingly, the story is naive, and, as just a coming of age story, not finished. The characters are facing big questions, 18 years later, as outsiders, Punk rockers… What relevance do they have in a world where all statements have already been made? ” James Merendino says.

The Sequel will be shooting later this year and is being produced independently, like SLC Punk.

“Putting together Independent Movies is a never ending siege, but when it does come together, there is nothing more satisfying.” James Merendino adds. “In the years since I made SLC Punk, it has found a rather large and supportive following who have been very kind to me. So in making a sequel, I feel I owe it to those people to really do it right.”

Wait, where’s the Kickstarter tho? Man, this guy’s been outta the biz so long he doesn’t even know that in order to fund an independent movie you have to take advantage of your fans’ ignorance and nostalgia with price goals and garbage rewards! “Don’t Sell Out. Buy In (To This Kickstarter).” Hahah. Now that we have a perfect tagline for the nonexistent Kickstarter, we can move onto thinking of the perfect tagline for Punk’s Dead, the concept poster of which you can see here. Looks bad! (Heroin Bob?) (But he’s SPOILER ALERT.) That being said, I will 100% see it when it is released. Life is complicated. LET’S GET 2 THE TAGLINES!

• Punk’s Dead: Is a Minor Threat patch on my briefcase enough? (Not my main briefcase.)
• Punk’s Dead: Older…but still liberal democrat (fiscal conservative).
• Punk’s Dead: Our babies wear band t-shirts now, it’s adoooorraaaableee.
• Punk’s Dead: Some of it still holds up, though. Like…The Misfits. I can still listen to The Misfits. 
• Punk’s Dead: Oh, we LOVE Portlandia.
• Punk’s Dead: Messy lawyer on the outside, subdued punk on the inside.
• Punk’s Dead: Nothing from Crass Records anymore, really. I just can’t.
• Punk’s Dead: Where do you go…after punk dies?

The tagline for SLC Punk was apparently “God bless America…they’re going to need it,” so I think we can do AT LEAST better than that. C’MON, PUNKIES!