Talking about the Met Gala will provide light, topical conversation. Begin by asking if they noticed that the Met Gala had taken place last night. “Did you see anything online about the Met Gala?” is an example of what you can say. If no, continue to number two. If yes, skip to number three.
Respond, “Oh. Nevermind. It was just a– There were just a lot of pictures of celebrities online today from it. The theme was punk? Nevermind, I don’t really know enough about it to explain it.” Change the topic of conversation.
Respond, “Oh man, did you see Kristen Stewart?” They will have definitely seen Kristen Stewart. Judging by their expression, decide whether you’re going to say you liked the thing she wore or hated it. If unclear say, “That jumpsuuuuit!” If conversation comes to an awkward halt ask, “Where was Robert, though, do you think?”
Bring up Beyonce and talk about her for a bit. “I didn’t like her dress too much, but whatever. Did you see her Pepsi commercial?” Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk about Beyonce. You don’t have to talk to acquaintances for very long stretches, so maybe this can be the end. If not the end, continue to number 5.
Ugh, this conversation has GOT to end soon. Take a very hard stance against what Gwyneth Paltrow wore. If your acquaintance seems ambivalent tell them they don’t know what they’re talking about and must be legitimately blind, ask if they know how many fingers you’re holding up, hold up the middle finger.
If the conversation continues ask them what they think it would be like to be friends with Jennifer Lawrence, who was so beautiful obviously at the Met Gala, and then say, “She would be great, I wish I were talking to her right now instead of you. No offense.”
Say, “I don’t know why we’re talking about the Met Gala,” and laugh.
