You wake up in a drab hotel. For a moment you’re disoriented — you’re not at home, you know that for sure, but where are you? You breathe in– the air smells like racism and tobacco. You feel in your gut a higher level of self-inflicted theme park danger fear than you’d feel at most theme parks, and then you remember. From The Hollywood Reporter:

Move over, Dollywood. The mega-hit Blue Collar Comedy trio of Jeff Foxworthy, Bill Engvall and Larry the Cable Guy are prepping a theme park of their own. The Foley, Ala., locale, titled Blue Collar Country, has been described by Foley mayor John Koniar as Branson, Mo., meets Six Flags.

Construction has yet to begin, but the roughly 500-acre development is expected to include hotels, retail, an RV resort, rides, a 100,000-square-foot events center (for concerts, sporting events and conventions) and restaurants including a Foxworthy-themed steak house, an Engvall fish spot and a Larry the Cable Guy rib joint. …

If the Alabama location is successful, the group — which includes singer Tony Orlando, who is said to have come up with the idea and found the location — will look to open as many as six other Blue Collar locales around the country.

It’s going to cost $200 million to build and will be up in the next two or three years. Yuck. What kind of rides do you think they’re going to have?! I would guess a log flume ride in which the log is replaced by an upright barrel somehow, and that is just a sincere guess. My joke guess would be that they will have signs outside of each ride that say, “You have to be THIS white to enjoy this ride.” And my in-between guess would be, “Larry the Cable Guy’s Nobama Gunderland,” which I think is self explanatory. What do you think, though? Fun? Sounds good? Putting off your engagement for a few more years so you can get married in the place that just sounds right? Tell meeeeee!