“Ha-ha. Ah, no — no, it’s fine. I know you hear a thing like ‘man’s 40,000 piece world record jigsaw puzzle collapses’ and it sounds like the end of the world, but really it’s just another thing. Was it my life’s work? Yes. I hadn’t been working on it for years, but I had been working on things that directly led to it for years and it was my bid for a Guinness World Record, so you can say that it culminated in my greatest efforts and was really the thing I had been most proud of. In fact, I didn’t know I could be so self-satisfied — not in a negative way, but just in a way where I was able to sleep peacefully, knowing I was a man who held accomplishments of which I was proud. I never thought I could be that type of person. You know, you look at these guys with their families and their businesses– ah, nevermind all that. Suffice to say I was no longer unhappy, once I had put together this 40,000 possible-world-record-holding jigsaw puzzle. Then it collapsed. But really, it’s fine. It’s just a puzzle, right? Hah. Yeah, it’s just a puzzle. Ha-ha. HaahahahahahahahaahahhhaAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.”

He really said:

“Because it is made of 6mm birch ply, a lot of it held together.

“My first reaction was to say ‘worse things happen at sea’ because all the information had already been sent off to Guinness World Records.

“I don’t get much chance to put them together. It’s one thing cutting the jigsaw but it’s totally another thing for it to dismantle itself.

“We started [to put it back together] at 12 o’clock yesterday – I suppose the interesting thing is how long it will take to reassemble. I expect it will take about four days.”

So I guess what the fuck ever, then? TEAR IT ALL DOWN! (Via Abroath.)