When I was young, a girl on my schoolbus once asked to “borrow” one of my troll dolls. I, a good friend/nervous baby who didn’t want to disappoint someone even if they were just a girl I knew from the bus who wasn’t even in any of my classes and therefor not actually my friend, obliged. Two days later the troll doll was returned to me without its hair. “I just felt like cutting something,” the girl on the bus explained. “Sorry.” WHAT! Can you believe that bullshit? I acted like I was fine with it because, again, nervous baby, but damn. What a bitch. Anyway, Hollywood’s rebooting Trolls! From The Hollywood Reporter:

DreamWorks Animation is getting into troll dolls.

The dolls, a huge fad in the 1960s that were revived through the 1990s; will be brought to life as a franchise for film and TV by American Girl doll veteran Shawn Dennis, the company said Thursday. …

“Trolls is one of those rare, proven and universally adored brands,” Dennis said in a release. “There is incredible potential here to engage kids across multiple platforms in a way that is fun, enduring and meaningful. It is truly an amazing opportunity to be able to re-launch a brand like this one.”

#FOOLSANDTROLLS! If Shawn Dennis does not take the opportunity to have the tagline to the Trolls movie be “Fools And Trolls” then I think we all might need to rethink her position as one of Hollywood’s top child-toy-to-entertainment-franchise developers. C’mon, Shawn! Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan can star, god willing! If they take care of themselves well enough until then! One of those movies that works for both adults and children. So, we’ve already got two of our main stars, but who else would we want to include in the Trolls movie? In 2013? Like, the YEAR 2013? Trolls movie? LET’S BRAINSTORM!

Jennifer Trollance?

Vincent Galltroll?

Vin Trollsel?

Idris Trollba?

Anne Hathatroll?

Uhhhhhhh…

House Of Troll Cards?

I don’t know! Everyone looks great! Maybe it’ll be like a Movie 43, or whatever. Every celebrity gets to be a troll in this one. PERFECT! WHO’S THE SHAWN DENNIS NOW!