Perfect Crimes are a bit tricky sometimes. Sure “falling asleep on a plate of french fries” sounds like the perfect crime, but then when you learn a bit more about it…maybe it’s not so much the perfect crime? Like when you get an e-mail from Urban Outfitters and it says “free shipping” and you think, “oh great,” but then you see that it’s free shipping on orders over $150 and you think, WHO EVEN HAS $150 TO SPEND AT THIS DUMP? Local news is like that a lot. Between sad stories of people dying in dramatic ways before their time, it’s all smoke and mirrors and leading you in with stories about people falling asleep on french fries and getting arrested for it and how dogs talk to each other or whatever. Have you guys ever watched the local news before? Or gotten a misleading e-mail advertisement? I’m available for podcasts if no! Anyway this isn’t the perfect crime that we all thought it would be from the lead-in, but it is still pretty much THE PERFECT CRIME!

Uh, a-no doy he’s going to keep eating the french fries. He did ORDER THEM, MR. OFFICER! Box them up, give him some coffee and send the man on his way. VIVE LA FRIES! (Via Abroath.)