I know we’ve waited all week to talk about it, but I swear to god, if I read any more words on the internet about whether or not Hannah from Girls could have actually gotten with Patrick Wilson, or what it even means that people are asking that question, I am going to call Time Warner and tell them to go fuck themselves for bringing this exhausting garbage access into my apartment every day. “But you asked for it and pay for it?” they’ll say. “Oh, do I?” I’ll say, “Because sometimes it seems more like a FAVOR YOU’RE DOING ME, POORLY.” Haha. I turned it around on them there. Who even knows what I’m mad at them about now! But anyway I’ll say that I thought her revelation speech at the end was upsetting, and her character is exhausting, but the rest of the episode was so weird that I kind of enjoyed it, actually. NEXT. Portlandia was great this week. I’m not sure how you all felt about the sketch that opened the show — the young boy and his Rube Goldberg device — but I loved it! I don’t love the idea of using sound-effects to make up for a perceived lack in humor (which Portlandia does often), but some of them hit, and the rest of it was both odd and funny enough that it made up for the overuse. (Especially the end when he said he was raising his hand but you couldn’t tell because he was upside down.) The rest of the episode — the B&B, the furniture builder photo shoot, and especially Fred’s trip to Italy — was great, too! MAYBE MY FAVORITE OF THE SEASON? (Except that I did really love the rat authors sketch from last week.) Bob’s Burgers’ Valentine’s Day episode was really great. I have said it before, but it came out strongly in this episode so I’m going to say it again, I think Bob’s Burgers does the hilarious/heartwarming balance better than any show on TV. U shuld wach it. (Jump!)

Community aired it’s Halloween — excuse me, Valloween, episode last night. I thought that was good, too! GUS FRING, EVERYBODY! HE’S BACK! I still had the feeling that if you watched it without paying much attention it would have just seemed like any old Community episode, but if you listened you could get the sense that it was very much trying to seem like any old Community episode, which was slightly distracting, but otherwise I thought it was a solid effort. Britta’s costume was funny. The Dean’s costume was horrifying. Jeff’s face was handsome. The Office was more enjoyable than it has been, kind of, (with the 2nd Breaking Bad member cameo of the night) but I really just do not know where they are going with the Pam and Jim conflict and moreover I do not know WHY they are going there. (Also, Pam, you should move to Philadelphia! I have lived in both Scranton and Philadelphia and they are both kind of shitty but at least Philadelphia has, I don’t know, museums! And the restaurants stay open a bit later! And it is 20% less shuttered and depressing!) I can’t wait until I never have to watch Andy again. Jesus. Enough. Parks and Recreation was great, obviously. I was so mad when they didn’t have the wedding in last night’s episode. Hahah. “TO BE CONTINUED ARE YOU SERIOUS?!” 4got how time worked. Also: HOW DID SHE GET TURN HER RED DRESS WHITE, THOUGH? Can’t wait for next week when we get to find out how she did that. (Honestly.) (Next week will be so sweet!) You talk now!