Uggggggggggghhhhhhh. This always happens! Some idiot strikes it big with YOUR IDEA (or, more specifically, an idea that you easily could have had) and makes a bunch of big bucks (or, more specifically, little bucks but also an AP web segment about his business) just because you never actually got around to putting the idea into action (or thinking of it). You’ve sat around with your buddies talking about sex and condoms A BILLION TIMES! You’ve been in the situation where you needed a condom but couldn’t get to the store to buy one MULTIPLE TIMES! You live in a dorm, or close to a dorm because you are IN COLLEGE! You have a hat with a flashing light on it that you could use while you run condoms to the doors of whomever needs them, even though you really shouldn’t — I mean, you definitely shouldn’t, because I feel like that would hurt your business a lot more than it would HELP IT! WHY AREN’T YOU THIS KID WITH THE EMERGENCY CONDOM DELIVERY SERVICE?!

UGH. A pack of condoms for $15? THAT COULD BE YOUR MARK-UP! Having to get out of bed at 4AM to deliver them to some kid who wants condoms (and also his date), which is fine enough, that’s the business that he’s chosen and it’s not a bad idea, but having to do it all wearing a ridiculous hat of your own volition? THAT COULD BE THE THING YOU DO, SLIGHTLY INCORRECTLY! Ugggghh. Never again! Next time, you will get the condom idea! (Via Gawker.)