The big story yesterday was how Al Roker pooped his pants at the White House, and that IS huge and I OBVIOUSLY understand why it was the only thing anyone wanted to talk about. When Comedy 9/11 happens, no one wants to talk about Comedy They Also Attacked The Pentagon, Remember?! And yet, I still feel like the OTHER story that broke yesterday, in which Courtney Cox admitted on Ellen that in order to teach her dogs how to pee on the grass, she herself peed on the grass, deserved/deserves a lot more attention than it got, and I for one won’t just sit back and watch this insidious brand of MEDIA BIAS to perpetuate itself. I WILL DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO HELP YOU BREAK THROUGH THE PEE CEILING, LADIES! From Celebitchy:

She has two dogs, a 9 and 10 year-old named Hopper and Harley who are both Cavalier King Charles Spaniels. She told a weird story about how she had to buy a square of doggy grass to put on the balcony of her new place, and how she had to personally pee on it in order to get the dogs to go there. Ellen schooled Courteney that when the new doggy grass comes she can just pee in a jar inside and pour it on.

Of course, OF COURSE when Courtney Cox tells Ellen that she peed on some grass to teach her dogs how to pee on some grass, Ellen not only takes this as a given but has A BETTER WAY TO DO THIS. That’s why Ellen is Ellen and Courtney is Courtney. Al is Al. Pee is pee. Poop is poop. L is O L. Never forget.