How are everyone’s resolutions going so far? Great, I’m sure. My personal goals to start smoking and gain 500 pounds are going to be tough, but I think this is finally the year that they are going to stick. I’ve already had three cigarettes and I’ve only been to the gym twice! Regardless of whether you’re trying to get healthier or unhealthier this year, you’re going to want to pick up Gwyneth Paltrow’s new cookbook when it comes out in April, because IT’S ALL GOOD. Hahahaha. Here’s how the book came about! (You’re going to love this story, it’s a great story!) (via Eater):

Last spring, after a particularly grueling schedule and lapse of overindulgence, Gwyneth Paltrow was feeling fatigued and faint. A visit to her doctor revealed that she was anemic, vitamin D deficient, and that her stress levels were sky high. He prescribed an elimination diet to clear out her system and help her body heal. But this meant no coffee, no alcohol, no dairy, no eggs, no sugar, no shellfish, no deep-water fish, no wheat, no meat, no soy, nothing processed at all!

An avid foodie, Paltrow was concerned that so many restrictions would make mealtime boring, so, together with Julia Turshen, she compiled a collection of 185 delicious, easy recipes that followed her doctor’s guidelines. And it worked! After changing her diet, Paltrow healed totally, felt more energetic and looked great.

I didn’t realize that you were allowed to put that you looked great in your own press release. That’s neat. Also what is this diet? That is literally everything that there is? Sounds like a great cookbook. “Your guests’ heads will fall off when they taste your carob loaf! And everyone will want seconds or even thirds when you serve Gwyneth’s signature dirt pie (no crust) for dessert.” Gross. If this is what it takes to look like you go to the same doctor as Gwyneth Paltrow then no thank you. I will continue to not go to any doctors whatsoever and diagnose myself on webMD thank you very much. Take a Centrum Silver and shut up. (Thanks for the tip, Raphael!)