Yesterday, the world exploded and will never be the same after Mark "Contraband" Wahlberg gave a quote to Men's Fitness about how he would have STOPPED 9/11. It was a real watershed moment for all of us. When there was only one set of bloody footprints in first class, that was Mark Wahlberg, carrying the terrorist's dead body. Of course, Mark Wahlberg has already "apologized" for his statements, because this is still NAZI GERMANY President Obama's America after all. The apology, as you would expect, is boring. From the Hollywood Reporter:
"To speculate about such a situation is ridiculous to begin with, and to suggest I would have done anything differently than the passengers on that plane was irresponsible," he said in a statement. "I deeply apologize to the families of the victims that my answer came off as insensitive, it was certainly not my intention."
Haha. Well, yeah, Mark Wahlberg. To speculate about BEING ON ONE OF THE HIJACKED 9/11 AIRPLANES AND HOW YOU WOULD HAVE KILLED A HANDFUL OF TERRORISTS AND THEN CALMLY EXPLAINED TO YOUR CHILDREN THAT YOU WERE GOING TO LAND THE PLANE SAFELY AND DON'T EVEN WORRY ABOUT THIS PLANE ANYMORE IS DEFINITELY A LITTLE RIDICULOUS. But why bother realizing that now? Go with it. Use the space. And we know your intention wasn't to offend anyone. Your intention was to explain how you would have stopped 9/11. Which you did. Mission accomplished. Oh, sorry. That's Tom Cruise's thing. You're more like, Italian Job accomplished. Riiiiight? #WAHLBURGERS
