"Death of Autotune" video, you guys.
Aw, poor Jay-Z! Don't get me wrong, Jay-Z is an Old God, wandering the Earth because he got bored in HEAVEN. But this video could double as a documentary about the loneliest day! He gets dropped off in some scary alley and has to rap by himself in a cold, empty warehouse? And then he eats dinner alone at the Italian restaurant? Why won't anyone eat dinner with Jay-Z? He should have brought a book to read. Sure, later he gets to join some fellow musicians for a rousing performance on VH1 Storytellers (or is it VH1 Scarf-tellers?) but then it's back to smoking a cigar by himself looking out at the river at dawn, wondering how his life got to this moment. And someone blew up all his champagne! Whoops, you're going to be late for your MIDNIGHT HAIRCUT APPOINTMENT at the spooky barbershop.
He's not totally alone, of course. He still has his friend Harvey Keitel, which is fine, I guess, everyone needs to have someone to play high stakes poker with on some overturned pickle buckets in the Italian restaurant's walk-in cooler. But I will say that out of all the people in the whole world, Harvey Keitel seems like one of the least fun to hang out with. He's just a pill. And now he is a very old pill. He used to wear sunglasses inside at night because it was cool, and now he does it because doctor's orders.
Jay-Z just needs some nice friends his own age. And to stop hanging out in these abandoned buildings by himself. It's weird!
