Did you watch Jon & Kate Plus 8 last night? I did not. I recorded it on my DVR, but I can't actually bring myself to watch it, because I can't actually bring myself to care. Just as they swept into our collective lives on a wave of grocery store checkout magazine covers, so do I hope that they are swept out on a wave of disinterest. When I was going through the DVR menu yesterday, because obviously this is not a show that I regularly tape or watch, I had to FIND IT, they were showing a Jon & Kate marathon and every single description was like "Emeril stops by to whip up some food," or "the family hangs out with the guys from Orange County Chopper." What? Oh, what a totally normal life being captured on film! What kind of reality TV blackhole of synergy and despair have these people been sucked into? And why hasn't it collapsed their skulls yet? Well, obviously, it almost has.
On last night's episode, I have read, because I cannot be forced to watch, they finally announced their divorce. But late last night before the episode even aired, they both released statements to the press. From People:
Kate Gosselin says:
"Over the course of this weekend, Jon's activities have left me no choice but to file legal procedures in order to protect myself and our children," Kate said in a statement Monday night. "While there are reasons why it was appropriate and necessary for me to initiate this proceeding, I do not wish to discuss those reasons at this time, in the hope that all issues will be resolved amicably between Jon and myself. As always, my first priority remains our children."
Jon Gosselin says:
"This afternoon, Kate filed for divorce. Our kids are still my number one priority. I love them and want to make sure they stay happy, healthy and safe. My job is being the best, most supportive and loving father that I can be to my kids, and not being married to Kate doesn't change that."
Yes, that is what it sounds like when two people who are getting divorced announce it to the public because they have a reality show and their divorce requires announcements. Obviously, this is sad news for the children, but those children were already ruined. The number of terrible decisions that have been made in regards to their well-being is a very high number. The Gosselins should have a bad decisions jar and every time they make a bad decision in regards to their children they put a quarter in the jar and at the end of the year they have a pizza party buy a chain of pizza restaurants.
But, so, are we done now? Because it seems to me that America's fascination with these guys was in the unraveling of their relationship. Well, good work everyone, it's unraveled. Let us move on to something else now. Surely there is some borderline-whore on VH1 who needs to find a fellow narcissist to pretend to want to be in a psychologically abusive relationship with. Or finding out, as a country, what happened to Alicia Silverstone. You know, stuff that matters!
