Unless this is literally a shot-for-shot remake of the Bourne Ultimatum with a candy cane sweater CGI'ed onto Matt Damon's torso, ugh. From Variety:
[Universal] and Chris Meledandri's family film unit [Illumination Entertainment] have acquired screen rights to turn the "Where's Waldo?" book series into a live-action family pic. Deal was worth high-six against seven figures.
Written and illustrated by Martin Handford, the "Waldo" books have sold more than 50 million copies worldwide. The books contain complex, full-page illustrations of large crowd scenes in which the main character is somewhere hidden, dressed in a red-and-white shirt, a hat, glasses and a walking stick.
[Universal] and Illumination will seek to create a movie with strong global appeal.
The worst part about this news is that there was a BIDDING WAR for the rights. Multiple people in charge of spending millions of dollars thought this was a great idea, and so they had to fight each other over it. "I want to make what will inevitably be a terrible movie." "No, I feel that my company is best to ensure that this movie is a totally miserable viewing experience." And at the end one level-headed voice of reason stood up and said "Gentlemen, let's at least acknowledge that whoever wins is going to be making this movie RIGHT ON TIME. Just at the moment when Waldo is MOST RELEVANT."
Although, at least I don't feel remorse over another instance of Hollywood's careless disregard for the unimpeachable nostalgia for the past. I'm not worried that they're going to "ruin" or "tarnish my memories of" Waldo. He's the equivalent of a costumed Highlights magazine wordsearch. Who cares about Waldo? That's what the movie should be called. And it would be a documentary. And it would be five minutes long. Because the answer is no one.
