gabe: i cannot believe that adam lambert lost American Idol
gabe: since he is the person that i have arbitrarily decided to have been rooting for
lindsay: adam lambert did not get as many votes as my person, "Kris Allen."
gabe: who's she?
lindsay: She wears a bikini, I think?
lindsay: Yes, that's correct: she wears a bikini and is called "bikini girl."
lindsay: Kris Allen the bikini girl
gabe: i think that this proves that american idol is a bankrupt show
gabe: because the person who i have arbitrarily decided to have been more talented
gabe: did not win?
gabe: can you win American Idol?
gabe: you can win, right?
lindsay: Nobody really knows who won until years later.
lindsay: History sorts it out.
gabe: history will show that George W. Bush won American Idol
gabe: i can't believe that you arbitrarily decided to support kris allen
gabe: on what arbitrary grounds?
lindsay: Do you think Adam Lambert lost just because he's black?
gabe: i'm not going to make a sweeping statment like that
gabe: but let's just say that Adam Lambert's race
gabe: whatever it may be
gabe: DIDN'T HELP!
lindsay: hahaha
gabe: you just voted for Kris Allen because your'e a girl
gabe: and she's a girl
lindsay: and we stick together.
lindsay: I think she's a lesbian.
lindsay: That was in the news, right?
lindsay: That was in the news: Kris Allen, bikini girl, is a lesbian
gabe: i'm just going to say yes
gabe: i'm going to just assume that you
gabe: a person who has no idea what she is talking about
gabe: is right on this one
lindsay: anyway, GRRRRL POWRRRRR
lindsay: In your FACE!
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lindsay: Girls rule, boys drool.
gabe: whatever, i hope that Kris Allen enjoys the American Idol winner curse
lindsay: Girls go to mars to get more cars, boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider.
gabe: eating all the tacos with Rueben Studdard in some Holiday Inn somewhere
gabe: while Adam Lambert is at the Super Bowl
gabe: FUCKING CLAY AIKEN!
lindsay: hahahahaha
lindsay: gross
lindsay: Did you call in and vote?
gabe: did i write a piece of computer software that automatically redialed every five seconds to get the most votes in possible?
gabe: yes
gabe: (no)
gabe: did i get an adam lambert tattoo on my back?
gabe: https://youtube.com/watch?v=-wfMAfkZOEU
gabe: yes
gabe: (no)
gabe: you probably didn't even vote for kris allen
gabe: the way that i absolutely voted for adam lambert
gabe: in a way that is real and actually happened
gabe: you're just riding the wave
lindsay: I knew she'd win without my vote.
lindsay: She had no use for it
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gabe: that is a terrible poltiical philosophy
lindsay: Adam Lambert couldn't win in this racist country.
lindsay: Who was your favorite of the whole competition?
gabe: oh god, how do i pick just one?
gabe: probably the first time I saw Adam Lambert sing
gabe: (I have never seen Adam Lambert sing)
gabe: he won me right away
gabe: (I have no idea who he is)
lindsay: Yeah, the second I laid eyes on Kris, with her girl-next-door looks and Betty Boop voice, I knew I didn't even need to hear any of the other contestants.
lindsay: And so I didn't.
gabe: haha
lindsay: I didn't hear any of them, ever.
lindsay: Do you think the mean guy, the druggie lady, the fat man, and the person who takes up space but who I've never heard or seen before are happy with the results?
gabe: who?
lindsay: the judges
gabe: American Idol has JUDGES?
gabe: i'm just kidding, i know all about Siblom Crowell and Paul Blabdul
gabe: and obviously
gabe: the answer is no
gabe: they are not happy with the results
gabe: they are PROFESSIONALS
gabe: and as PROFESSIONALS they know that Adam Lambert, a man who for as much as I know could be clinically mute
lindsay: and the guy who signed John C. Reilly's sword in Step Brothers.
gabe: is a better singer than Miss Kriss Allen
lindsay: Maybe he's a better singer, but she has the huge boobs.
lindsay: The huge boob advantage.
lindsay: She shakes her boobs and Adam Lambert has no chance with his b-boy moves.
gabe: whatever, Adam Lambert could easily outdance Kris Allen
gabe: i am going to uninformedly assert
lindsay: Well, this is probably not a dance competition.
lindsay: that we're talking about here.
gabe: Life is a dance competition, Lindsay
lindsay: I hope you dance.
gabe: that's what my t-shirt says
gabe: "Life is a dance competition. The rest is just DETAILS."
lindsay: I have just found a site called "wikipedia"
lindsay: and I have found one fact about my sweet Kriss "Krissy Girl" Allen
gabe: oh sure, i get wikipedia on my computer
lindsay: She is a "Worship Leader" by trade.
lindsay: This is actually true!
lindsay: How could Adam Lambert hope to beat a Worship Leader?
lindsay: I am Kris Allen's Worship Leader, forever.
gabe: um, by portraying Linus in the San Diego Lyceum Theater's prodcution of You're a Good Man Charlie Brown WHEN HE WAS 10
gabe: he's a triple threat
gabe: he can sing, dance, and portray beloved Peanuts characters
lindsay: Oh big whoop, he played a CHILD when he was a CHILD.
lindsay: That's called "not acting."
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gabe: haha
lindsay: How can Adam Lambert, even with his amazing Linus, hope to beat someone with a self-released album called "Brand New Shoes"?
lindsay: No album called "Brand New Shoes" could not be amazing.
gabe: wait, Kris Allen has an album called Brand New Shoes?
gabe: yikes
gabe: that is pretty talented
gabe: but Adam Lambert is just waiting until everything his perfect for his debut album
gabe: he's an artist
gabe: he's not trying to cash in on his newfound fame with a flashy title
gabe: like Brand New Shoes
gabe: that's just all flair and no substance
gabe: he puts the music first, before the image
gabe: I am guessing
lindsay: You know what would be great for both of us as Adam Lambert and Kris Allen's biggest fans?
gabe: if the producers announced that they'd miscounted and adam lambert won and kris allen lost?
gabe: so that none of us had to live with the guilt of having stolen the election?
lindsay: No, if they got married!
C U Next Tuesday!
