After the jump, I have posted the full list of this year's nominees at the MTV Movie Awards, but here are some important statistics:
Twilight tops the list with seven nominations. Of course it does. High School Musical 3: Senior Year gets more nominations than The Dark Knight. Um, fucking, GET SMART has two nominations. Anne Hathaway is up for Best Female Performance for her work in Bride Wars. And this year they have added a new category: Best WTF Moment, so that scenes like Ben Stiller licking the bloody viscera of Steve Coogan's severed head in Tropic Thunder finally get the credit they deserve (?).
Are we still seriously talking about Twilight and Tropic Thunder? Wanted? Seriously? It's been months since the "real" movie awards, and if anyone is obsessed with the hot new thing it's children. Who needs to debate the merits of a movie that came out months ago, on DVD?
That aside, do the MTV Movie Awards even make sense anymore? They kind of worked when they started in 1992, when music and pop culture were still an important part of the network's programming. It fit with MTV's mission to be the pop cultural homebase for America's teenagery. And while that might still be their proposed mission statement, what qualifies MTV to know anything anymore? How on Earth do the people who bring you Room Raiders, and NeXt, and The City feel like they have any authority to determine the comparative quality of anything?
The short answer is that they don't. The nominees were supposedly selected by viewers, and the awards will also be determined by them. You can vote here. But if that is true, what that means is that the MTV Movie Awards are basically the Teen Choice Awards. And the Teen Choice Awards are stupid. But at least the Teen Choice Awards call themselves what they are, and give out surfboards, and are a joke. I don't get it. I am literally too old for this shit.
Whoops, I just broke my hip. Care for a butterscotch? They're still warm from my pocket!
BEST MOVIE
The Dark Knight
High School Musical 3: Senior Year
Iron Man
Slumdog Millionaire
Twilight
BEST FEMALE PERFORMANCE
Angelina Jolie - Wanted
Anne Hathaway - Bride Wars
Kate Winslet - The Reader
Kristen Stewart - Twilight
Taraji P. Henson - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
BEST MALE PERFORMANCE
Christian Bale - The Dark Knight
Robert Downey Jr. - Iron Man
Shia LaBeouf - Eagle Eye
Vin Diesel - Fast & Furious
Zac Efron - High School Musical 3: Senior Year
BREAKTHROUGH PERFORMANCE FEMALE
Amanda Seyfried - Mamma Mia!
Ashley Tisdale - High School Musical 3: Senior Year
Freida Pinto - Slumdog Millionaire
Miley Cyrus - Hannah Montana: The Movie
Vanessa Hudgens - High School Musical 3: Senior Year
Kat Dennings - Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist
BREAKTHROUGH PERFORMANCE MALE
Robert Pattinson - Twilight
Taylor Lautner - Twilight
Ben Barnes - The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
Dev Patel - Slumdog Millionaire
Bobb'e J. Thompson - Role Models
BEST COMEDIC PERFORMANCE
Amy Poehler - Baby Mama
Anna Faris - The House Bunny
James Franco - Pineapple Express
Jim Carrey - Yes Man
Steve Carell - Get Smart
BEST VILLAIN
Derek Mears - Friday The 13th
Dwayne Johnson - Get Smart
Heath Ledger - The Dark Knight
Johnathon Schaech - Prom Night
Luke Goss - Hellboy II: The Golden Army
BEST FIGHT
Anne Hathaway vs. Kate Hudson - Bride Wars
Christian Bale vs. Heath Ledger - The Dark Knight
Ron Perlman vs. Luke Goss - Hellboy II: The Golden Army
Robert Pattinson vs. Cam Gigandet - Twilight
Seth Rogen and James Franco vs. Danny McBride - Pineapple Express
BEST KISS
Angelina Jolie and James McAvoy - Wanted
Freida Pinto and Dev Patel - Slumdog Millionaire
James Franco and Sean Penn - Milk
Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson - Twilight
Paul Rudd and Thomas Lennon - I Love You, Man
Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron - High School Musical 3: Senior Year
BEST WTF MOMENT (New Category)
Amy Poehler - Baby Mama, Peeing In the Sink
Angelina Jolie - Wanted, Curved Bullet Kill
Ayush Mahesh Khedekar - Slumdog Millionaire, Jumping in the Poop Shed
Ben Stiller - Tropic Thunder, Tasting the Decapitated Head
Jason Segel and Kristen Bell - Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Naked Break-Up
BEST SONG FROM A MOVIE (New Category)
"Jai Ho" - AR Raham, Slumdog Millionaire
"The Wrestler" - Bruce Springsteen, The Wrestler
"The Climb" - Miley Cyrus, Hannah Montana: The Movie
"Decode" - Paramore, Twilight
