“Awesome,” Kanye West’s long-rumored love ballad for his wife, Kim Kardashian, has emerged online. And although I wouldn’t describe it as awesome per se — in fact, I really hope it won’t be on So Help Me God — it is at the very least awesomely entertaining. Good luck keeping track of all the head-slapping quotables here. “You’re so awesome/ You don’t need to listen to your manager” is a favorite. He also kindly promises, “I hope you’re ready for tonight/ I’m gonna cook, you’ll be dessert.” But the best one has to be “Cause baby I’m awesome also.” Indeed! Just not so much on this song. Listen at HotNewHipHop if you dare.

Kanye’s laptop was allegedly stolen in Paris recently, and I’m hoping that’s the only reason this song is online right now.

[Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images.]