Brian Weitz, better known as Geologist of Animal Collective, is a huge NHL fan. Although he moved to Baltimore as a teen, he grew up in Philadelphia, and he’s a die-hard Flyers supporter. Now, he’s written an essay for Sports Illustrated remembering former Flyers goalie Pelle Lindbergh, who was killed in a drunk driving accident almost exactly 30 years ago today. In the piece, Weitz writes about his father forbidding him from wearing a memorial “31” patch on his Flyers jersey because of the circumstances of Lindbergh’s death, and he explores that complicated and morally gray legacy:

As with most adults, my personal views on drunk driving, and more specifically drunk drivers, got more complicated as I saw it happen more often. One comes to learn that the potentially horrible consequences are not always the result of a horrible person. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to having driven a car at times when I shouldn’t have, and I’m sure I’m not alone. Just look into the cars around you and see how many people are texting or talking on their phones, despite all the research showing how dangerous it is. But these are hard things to explain to a kid in grade school.

@sportsillustrated fulfilled Geologist's alternate reality dream job of being a hockey writer. Read his full article now (link in bio).

A photo posted by Animal Collective (@anmlcollective) on Nov 9, 2015 at 3:01pm PST

Read the rest of the essay here.