In the six years since he left Interpol, founding bassist Carlos Dengler has rarely spoken about his split from the group that made him famous. He did glancingly mention his reasons for departure while detailing his new love of acting last year, but in a new conversation today he sheds further light on his final days in the band as well as his full personal history.

Dengler is the guest on the 100th episode of Talk Music Talk, a podcast hosted by boice-Terrel Allen. In a lengthy chat with Allen, he details his complicated relationship with band members and the anxiety he felt about playing the “character” of Carlos D after sobering up ahead of Interpol’s third album Our Love To Admire: “It was like I woke up and [thought] what the fuck did I do last night, except it had [actually been] five years and three albums and three tours and a band.” He also explores his abusive childhood and the hedonistic rock-star lifestyle he pursued during Interpol’s early years.

Hear the whole conversation below. Dengler shows up about eight minutes into the show.

Subscribe to Talk Music Talk for free on iTunes and visit the podcast’s official site here. The next episode features Grammy-nominated saxophonist Donny McCaslin, who played on David Bowie’s Blackstar.