The long, strange saga of Bob Dylan and the Nobel Prize is finally about to end, and Dylan has figured out a way to game the system so that he won’t have to do anything. When Dylan was first awarded the Nobel Prize For Literature last year — an unprecedented honor for a popular musician — he didn’t react in any way. Then he declined to attend the Nobel Prize ceremony. The award comes with about $900,000 in cash, and to accept that, Dylan would have to give a Nobel Lecture by June. But that’s not happening. Dylan is still picking up his Prize (and, presumably, the money that comes with it), and he’s not giving a lecture. This guy!

The Associated Press reports that Dylan is meeting with members of the Swedish Academy, the group that controls the Nobel Prize, this weekend in Stockholm. They’ll hand him his prize and medal at a small gathering, with no press present. Dylan is scheduled to play shows in the city on Saturday and Sunday, and his Nobel Lecture won’t be a part of those shows. Instead, Sara Danius, permanent secretary of the Swedish Academy, writes on her blog that the Academy “has reason to believe that a taped version will be sent at a later point.”

There is no fucking way Dylan is sending them a taped version of a lecture. He has effectively figured out a way to do nothing and still get his Nobel Prize. Someone should award him the Nobel Prize In Not Giving A Fuck.