After paying tribute to his late Mobb Deep partner with some Instagram posts earlier this week, Havoc has detailed his response to Prodigy’s death in a new video monologue. In the footage, Havoc explains that he didn’t fully believe it at first because Prodigy so often entered the hospital for sickle-cell treatments and always emerged in good health. He says he was driving home from his 5-year-old’s kindergarten graduation when he heard the news — “I could’ve crashed with my kids in the car” — and that he still can’t listen to Mobb Deep’s music or even look at pictures of Prodigy without getting emotional. “People that lost somebody, they know what I’m talking about, but this is just a little bit more crazy,” he says. Watch below via TMZ.

Havoc will perform a special tribute set to Prodigy tonight.

Read our tribute to the late, great Prodigy.