So when I was a freshman in high school, this psycho asshole named Alan decided that because I had made out with a girl he was really into (a girl who rejected his advances regularly) that he was going to bully me mercilessly in school. For a few weeks he’s catch me in the hall and take my head and slam it into the lockers hard. He was much bigger than I was, and a lot of my friends just couldn’t help me or didn’t want to for fear they’d receive the same treatment.

So one day, Alan finds me and he’s in a particularly bad mood and he grabs me by the neck and tells me he’s going to shove my head in a toilet. I’m almost unconscious when all of a sudden he lets go and the next thing I know he’s on the ground getting stomped by these scary looking dudes in Doc Martins. The one guy picks me up and tells me to “go ahead, fucking kick his teeth in,” but I’m not a violent guy, and finally the one kid, whose name I knew was Steve, tells me to just “fuck off.”

Now I was into skateboarding when I was a kid, so I hung out with a weirder crowd in high school who all sat together at lunch. The next day I go to my lunch table, and there’s the five kids that saved my ass from a beating all sitting at my table. The one kid has a swastika tattoo made of battle axes on his forearm. They sat there and ate their lunch and didn’t really say anything to us. When the period was over, Steve came over to me and told me if any had any problems in the future, to come to him, and that no one would bother me any more.

I was completely freaked out. My anxiety about getting the shit kicked out of me was now replaced by a feeling of dread about what I’d done to warrant this protection. I was also concerned about the fact that my lunch table was multi-cultural and, as soon as these skinheads showed up, most of my friends wisely sat somewhere else.

I figured out quick that the reason Steve had taken an interest in me was my friendship with a girl named Jen. He’d started dating her, against my initial protests, and she knew about how hard things had been in the beginning of that school year. Steve, no doubt, looking to make an impression, with his lifestyle an obstacle to overcome, decided to show Jennifer that he’d protect her friends -that he was serious about his racist beliefs , but that no one would ever give her shit about it because no one would ever give her shit about anything ever again.

So began a hellish period of my life. These guys would tell me shit like “we’re going fishing” or “we’re picking you up and going for a drive,” and they’d make me go because Jen wouldn’t hang out unless I was there. At one point they even gave me a pair of boots and told me I could put different colored laces in them to signal I was not a racist. I kept making excuses as to why I wouldn’t wear them, and, thankfully, Steve told the other guys to lay off, and that I could do what I wanted.

School got very difficult. Many of my friends stopped associating with me, and I really couldn’t blame them. Teachers started giving me shit about stuff that in the past they would’ve overlooked because I was an excellent student. I was too afraid to ask my new “friends” to give me a break. Anything short of hanging out with this group would’ve been seen as disloyalty. I was depressed. I was miserable. I became in island to myself.

So, one day I’m hanging out at a friends converted church at a local punk show featuring a band called Plow United, and Steve, his friends and Jen show up, and they tell me they want me to go with them to rob the local pharmacy. I knew Jen worked there and, apparently, the plan was to go in and rob the place and tie Jen up with the pharmacist. That it was a full proof plan and it would work because Jen would get them into the locked safes and after they’d make it look like she had no idea. Later, she’d tell the cops some bullshit story about it being “thugs in from the city” and no one would get hurt.

I was absolutely paralyzed with fear. Now they had told me what they were doing and couldn’t possibly see me not going as anything but dangerous to their bottom line.

I remember trying to go hide in a back room and wait and hope they would just leave. Steve found me eventually and I was shaking and in tears about how bad everything was about to become. I was angry at myself for getting so deep into this bullshit. I didn’t hate anyone. I wasn’t a bad kid. I’d never felt like a bigger coward in my life.

Steve looked at me, handed me a beer and said “You don’t want to do this, do you?” I was afraid the wrong answer would get me fucked up, so I mumbled something about how I just planned to see this band for months and some other really obvious bullshit. He stood there and finally told me to “Go fucking home.” He said he would tell the other guys he thought I was too big of a pussy, and that I’d only get them caught or whatever. I left through the back door and walked through the woods back to my parent’s house.

They went through with it. Apparently the whole robbery was a nightmare. One of the kids brought a gun, and Jen was so obviously in on it that the police knew immediately who to pick up. There was even talk that Steve had to talk one of the other kids out of shooting the pharmacist. It’s hard to know exactly what happened and what was exaggeration in my home town.

The other three guys were picked up first, and Jen and Steve were arrested in the next town attempting to rob a gas station. They had some ill advised plan to get some money and run off together, but Jen panicked and gave herself up in the middle of the robbery.

We all had to be involved in the court case and it was a terrible strain on my family. Jen testified against the others (apparently Steve’s idea since she was, unbeknownst to me, pregnant, and Steve didn’t want her to have to go to jail). Thankfully for me, the prosecutor didn’t push me hard on what I knew, claiming they had all the evidence they needed.

I transferred to a different school because I felt like I’d never live to associations down. My friends ultimately came back into my life, saying they felt equally bad knowing how trapped I was in that situation. Steve and the others got something like 20 years for the guys who were 18, and some lesser charges for kids in the group who were still considered minors. It was a huge mess.

I saw Jen at a bar years later after not having contact with her since the incident. We didn’t really talk about what happened. That night she got blacked out drunk and I took her home. Her mother was smoking a cigarette and watching her kid. She told me I should leave, and that she didn’t want Jen to see me anymore. I didn’t see much problem with that on my end.

Even ran into Steve after he’d been paroled years later at the carnival in my parent’s town. We didn’t talk to much about it. He grew his hair out and showed me how he’d gotten his tattoos inked over. Even said that he was fixing remote controlled fire places now, and that it was weird because he’d just filled a work order at my parent’s house.

I don’t really relate this story to too many people, and folks in my town that don’t know all the details would probably give you a very different account of my involvement during that period. I stopped trying to tell my half of the story years ago. It is what it is, I’m sorry I let it get that far.

Anyway, I’ve not heard Reputation.

Seems like just saying “I denounce white supremacy” would be a quicker and easier way to prove you’re not a white supremacist than suing someone who said you were a white supremacist. But hey, maybe that’s why I’m not a millionaire pop star!

01 “…Ready For It?” –– Obviously about the coming race war.
02 “End Game” (Feat. Ed Sheeran & Future) –– Taylor’s preferred end game? White supremacy! Which makes it awkward that Future’s there.
03 “I Did Something Bad” –– She voted for Trump.
04 “Don’t Blame Me” –– For voting for Trump.
05 “Delicate” –– A song decrying modern snowflake culture.
06 “Look What You Made Me Do” –– This has already been covered.
07 “So It Goes…” –– This one might not be racist actually.
08 “Gorgeous” –– Re: the beauty of Aryan men.
09 “Getaway Car” –– Probably needed after committing a hate crime.
10 “King Of My Heart” –– This one’s about Trump.
11 “Dancing With Our Hands Tied” –– How the Obama years felt for Taylor.
12 “Dress” –– About the ceremonial garb worn by Klansmen.
13 “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things” –– A pro-fascist anthem.
14 “Call It What You Want” –– I’ll just go ahead and call it racist.
15 “New Year’s Day” –– This is just a U2 cover.

Can’t imagine this will help her Reputation

We’ll see about that.

stereogum v arcade fire has been the surprise beef of 2017

Finally, you’ll have time to comment

Pence is more likely to pass a law making it illegal to spell Churches with a v than do anything about gun control.

She voted for Trump.

No Fans Go

There’s an article in Stereogum today about one band member suing another for defamation. But Swift isn’t supposed to sue someone for connecting her to white supremacy, and demanding that she publicly renounce it? And then, incredibly–the ACLU tells her attorney to write a letter promising they won’t pursue a lawsuit?? Um. So the ACLU is demanding she give up her legal rights on this.
Swift is constantly told by voices on the internet what to do, say, renounce. The white supremacy nonsense is almost constant. She has people demand she renounce white supremacy , but when she finally gets fed up and tries to take legal action, the ACLU reprimands her..Hey! It’s just political speech, right? … about you being a neo nazi?
Just because she’s wealthy and famous doesn’t mean all these voices on the internet can be her puppet masters–defaming her for white supremacy nonsense, criticizing her as a “Bad” feminist. Nowadays this stuff can damage a career,, but we joke about it, and her Or she’s even critized for “playing victim”. Just read the comments here.
The internet autocracy has really primed us for Trump.

Dont Blame Me is kinda SOTY. I really like the album even End Game. Taylor and Jack did a great job, it’s time for MM to take back seat.

everything from this headline (“ugh”) to the comments below tells me that stereogum is no longer interested in independent neutral music reporting. i mean this: marilyn manson “like an asshole” pointed a fake gun. what kind of headline is that?! (btw, in the 70’s that would have been called Rock and Roll. Stop creating biased headlines before I’ve gotten a chance to make up my own mind. We’re not all precious delicate snowflakes who agree with all your agendas.

Cute.

Finally, go to jail Alice.
False artist.

Hey y’all! I think it’s really great that some of you have heard the album already (before it’s official Friday release). Now, please give me your full contact details, including legal name and address so I can send you a very sssspecial thank you letter!

(Jk – I already know who you are and where you fucking live)

XOXO