“I walked away alive from a serial killer I don’t have time in my life to so much as think about idiots like Eminem”

There are times I’m forced to confront the fact that there are entire universes of which I am blissfully unaware.

I still blame all of this on Regis Philbin.
If Who Wants to Be a Millionaire wasn’t such a success in the summer of 1999, we wouldn’t have had other networks trying to compete by offering their own game shows and competition.
Which means we wouldn’t have had CBS making Survivor and therefore shifting the trend away from gameshows and onto Reality TV and Reality TV based competitions.
Which means we wouldn’t have had the rise of Mark Burnett as a producer.
Which means we wouldn’t have had The Apprentice, which led to Donald Trump’s resurgence in pop culture.

Yes, if there is one thing that has come across from Justin Vernon it is his insincerity.

Or, you know, its possible he worked with some guys on a beat and didnt know what lyrics would be laid down over it.

But, let’s ignore the obvious answer and go with the dumb one that makes no sense and doesn’t track with what we know about Vernon.

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yo stereogum commenters…I hear you got a problem with me.

*laughs*

let’s settle this

*steps up to the mic*

stereogum? you better chew on my stereobum when I boof u better you run i pack farts in my gun I’ll accidentally shart and eat tums like yum yum yum i got the tart flavored one you better spark up a candle cuz u can’t handle whats blasting fast from my ass can u outlast the gas that leaks past the craps that splash out my chaps

*inhales, raps in double-double time*

i can tell you like the smell oh well maybe I need Adele on a gazelle to drop a bombshell and expel a gaseous spell on your lapel as well and i rebel against society’s smells because poo isn’t rude it’s just part of my lewd attitude but if you’d done ur homework bong iver u would have knew’d that I’m a crude and offensive dude that has accrued a public image that exudes my shitty worldviews and until people stop chewing my food im not gonna delude what I’ve got queued because I’ve got people glued to what my ass has brewed and cuz i get millions in cash every time i drop 2’s.

*drops mic/dump*

Boneheaded Bon Mot Mars Bon Iver Spot

#W6sn’t M∑

This is the Streogumiest comment ever

“Gwen Stephani Allegedly Responsible for Tragic Kingdom.”

1. Drake’s a mulatto. 2.even if the Trump point is true, he still wasn’t enough of an “idiot” to have a picture of him in blackface taken for posterity. 3.Your ma prolly couldn’t deny there’s a tape of YOU calling someone a n*****.

Signed, a nigga.

And here’s the negative Tom Breihan “think piece”. I knew it would be along sooner or later.

It’s nice you pulled two little “quotes”, but we clearly didn’t read the same piece (or you didn’t actually read it).

Sigh. I’ll say this; more of a fan of Drake than Trump, but Trump hasn’t been caught in whole blackface (yet).

Right, right. People do usually feel bad about stupid decisions after the fact, Justin. Go make some more mediocre ambient music.

I’m getting DOWN with that fuckin flute.