You feeding them song titles certainly isn’t helping matters.

She was right. I was at my cousin’s wedding just one week before (a whole ‘nother story), and his dancefloor was… mediocre if I’m being nice. You could tell the DJ was under strict orders to play *their* songs, instead of the songs that will get the guests off their asses and cutting a rug, and so people sat and talked and walked around, and there were maybe 10 people dancing at a time. “Run Away With Me” is a Grade-A+ banger, but if my aunt doesn’t know the words, she’s gonna go hit the open bar instead of boppin’. So we went with “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” instead, and it fkn slayed. I was a little sad, but I knew we made the right decision. Then “Call Me Maybe” played and I got around to having the time of my life again.

The DJ was dropping hits left and right all night. I’m being totally biased, but it’s the best wedding dance floor I’ve ever been on. But then totally sober Padfoot (not kidding… getting drunk at your wedding is almost as difficult as finding time to eat) had a brilliant idea; “Run Away With Me” should be the second to last song. “I wanna go, get out of here, I’m sick of the party. Party.” It made too much sense. I conferred with the DJ, who first thought I was coming to criticize his decision to play “Bye Bye Bye” directly after “Backstreet’s Back” (I wasn’t), and we hashed it out. It was on.

Dat saxophone blast came on, and everybody immediately stopped dancing because they had no idea what the hell they were listening to. I was literally the only person dancing in the middle, until my lovely wife joined me. Then came my buddy who accompanied me in her place to CRJ shows in Boston when I was doing the long-distance thang. One by one the dominoes started to fall, until, through sheer will-power, we got the dance floor populated again and it was magical.

I had another idea mid-song: Mrs. Padfoot and I should run away from the dance floor during the slow part, which we did, away from the dance floor to the bar area. Then, we ran back in and I leapt (the dance floor was next to some stairs) into the crowd during that last giant “Run Away With Me.” Probably the best moment of my young life so far.

Tl;dr – I got married and CRJ popped the fuck off.

If this dude wants to dress femme/androgynous, use he/him pronouns, and is attracted to women/femininity, then power be unto him to actualize that! Good on him for discovering that about himself and finding wholeness!

The same power that he looks to feel from dressing femme/androgynous is the same that I look to feel from the clothing choices I make as a femme, androgynous person. Except I use they/them pronouns and my sexuality is queer. His narrative doesn’t detract from mine. In fact I want more straight men like him to break free from the chains of cisnormativity and heteronormativity to live more authentic lives. We all damn well know that long held stereotypes of masculinity and femininity are extremes, and that 99.9% of all people don’t conform to 100% of the stereotypes attributed to the masculinity or femininity they were assigned at birth. I wish more cis people would own that. Bc owning that doesn’t mean you aren’t still a man or a woman if that is the gender you know you are. But recognizing and owning the ways in which you don’t conform widens the idea of what a man or a woman can look like. You don’t all have to change your names and use they/them pronouns and a whole lot of shit like that. I didn’t start using they them pronouns bc one day I woke up and was like “fuck the system let’s make these cissies’ lives more difficult.” I started using them because they reflect me. I started presenting more femme bc that reflects me. I still wear men’s clothes when they reflect me. I still keep the facial hair sometimes bc it reflects me. I started wearing colorful eyeliner lately bc it reflects me. And I’m considering changing my name and starting hormones, and i’ll only start doing those things when I’m as sure on the inside as I can be that that decision reflects me and where I am right now. I wish more cis people would know that they can decide to do any of these aforementioned things I did (or any other gender nonconforming thing they wish to do) and they can still be the man or woman they say they are. Presentation and gender are related sometimes but for other people they are mutually exclusive. Your presentation is what you want to wear how you want to style your hair and shit like that. Your gender is your understanding of who you are on the inside. Your sexuality is who you want to fuck and whatever god damn kinks you have. And given that with each of those categories there are endless forms people can take, it makes a whole lot of sense to me that the gender binary and the rigid ideas of what men and women are only serve to keep a significant portion of the population scared to embody their authentic selves due to fear of deviating from this perceived norm too much. And I just find that really sad and I hope that all of you know that if your a cis guy and want to paint your nails while sporting a buzz cut and 5’oclock shadow and wearing cargo pants and a silk chiffon blouse, then if you’ve not heard it from anyone else, hear it from me: FUCKING DO IT. YOU ARE STILL THE MAN YOU SAY YOU ARE REGARDLESS OF WHAT YOU FUCKING WEAR. BE YOU AND BE HAPPY LIFE IS TOO GOD DAMN SHORT. AND ALL THAT SHIT BETTER BE COLOR COORDINATED OR YOU’LL LOOK A DAMN MESS BUT EVEN IF YOU WANT TO LOOK A DAMN MESS THATS OK I LOVE YOU ANYWAYS.

Same goes to my cis women friends here. Wear that trucker hat with that grandpa Flannel shirt and a flowy skirt and oversized Timberland boots while donning a full face of make up.

Bc the more you guys let go of these fucking ridiculous standards of masculinity and femininity that you yourselves often can’t completely live up to, the less of a contradiction my trans and genderqueer siblings will become to you and the safer we will feel to be our authentic selves.

You would have thought y’all would have learned that with fucking Bowie and Prince and George Michael and Boy George and George Clinton and Grace Jones and Annie Lennox and all these other legends from yore, but if it takes more Young Thugs and Porches and Lil Peeps and Troye Sivans and Olly Alexanders and Mat Healys and Halseys and Syds and Mykki Blancos and Mike Hadreases to nail this lesson in y’all’s heads then so damn be it.

Admittedly I’m at work so I haven’t read the profile, so it’s possible Out or Porches guy said something dumb that people are rightfully mad about. But there’s just a strong stench here that the gays mad at this are probably either no-fats-no-femmes-no-asians-masc4masc-straight-acting-looking-for-other-straight-acting who want to simultaneously call out str8s for “portraying stereotypes” (as if the existence of the stereotype is the problem rather than the narrow idea of what queerness looks like) while deriding and marginalizing those within the damn community who actually embody the damn stereotypes or their probably the type of queer who is so “radical” that there is no such thing as a positive advancement to them and that anything deemed such is somehow problematic (and you know in some cases it sometimes is but damn it let somebody enjoy the small imperfect victories when they happen not because they are fucking ending points in the war for rights but because they are hard-fought for cultural victories in these damn battles that have been taking place over many years).

Anyways love y’all have a good week this week!

❤️ Bless

White people must be stopped.

Your Pal,

Marijuana.

-Offset literally rapping “I do not vibe with the queers” on the new Migos release.
-Roc Marciano continuing to use a word that’s probably the last one a lot of dead LGBTQ people ever hear.
-xxxTentacion having a #1 album in spite of his beating his pregnant girlfriend’s eyes shut.
-Nicki Minaj picking and choosing her favorite Asian stereotypes to render as aesthetic choices.
-Kanye’s renewed endorsement of Trump, along w/ various other Trump fans (including someone who paints the Black Lives Matter movement as a bunch of whiny hysterics).

Turning music discourse into fan culture w/ a select few agreed-upon punching bags is what I think got us all here with egg on our faces. It’s past time that we figured out how to deal with it.

“u coulda been the greatest female rapper alive but u blew it.”

Fuck. Shit is cold.

i member

Long live Pop 2

Your Pal,

Marijuana.

https://youtu.be/WeN9VDG1ZCo?t=19m24s

“I believe in free thinking. I don’t believe in free thinking if it is rooted in or at the expense of the oppressed. If your free thinking is fueled by oppressors to continue to oppress Black people or minorities, I think it’s bulls**t.”

Me: To be clear, I was never mad at Grimes for dating Elon Musk. My feelings about Musk are separate to enjoying Grimes’s music, and it also seems wrong for me to have any opinion on what she does with her personal life

Subway Employee: So, no chips and a drink?

— Larry Fitzmaurice (@lfitzmaurice) July 24, 2018

Basically, fuck off, Kanye. Supporting sexual abuse isn’t an edgy provocative take to drum up interest in your new album. It’s not some fashionable outfit you get to wear to signal that you can’t be tamed by the PC police. It’s not a game. It’s not a joke. It’s not something that doesn’t matter so long as it doesn’t happen to your OWN daughter. It’s a terrifying reality for most women in the world, either the ones who’ve been directly abused or the ones who’ve had to mold our lives around protecting ourselves from the willful decisions of others to violate.

Anyway, time to listen to some White Lung.

Morrissey appears on the cover of all of his early solo albums

Let the downvotes raaaaaaaain