I have been writing this weekly video-countdown column for almost exactly eight years. (Here’s my first stab at it; Trash Talk had that week’s #1 video.) I inherited the column from my friend and former across-the-street neighbor Jessica Suarez, who started it in 2010. The column has been a lot of fun, and it has given me an excuse to seek out untold numbers of great videos that I probably wouldn’t have otherwise seen. But you guys may have noticed that I write a whole fuckpile of columns. For reasons related to my own general sanity, one of them had to go. So this will be my final time writing about the week’s best videos; the column is now on hiatus. One last time, this week’s picks are below.

5. Post Malone – “Circles” (Dir. Colin Tilley)

I am truly impressed by Post Malone’s ability to wear an entire suit of armor while still looking like he just rolled out of bed in the sweatsuit that he’s been rocking for three days straight.

4. Lil Nas X – “Panini” (Dir. Mike Diva)

This past summer, Lil Nas X basically was a constant and inescapable presence, to the point where he started to seem like the gremlin on the wing in that one Twilight Zone. It’s cool that he realizes it, and that he’s willing to construct an entire Blade Runner fantasia around it.

3. Chelsea Wolfe – “Deranged For Rock & Roll” (Dir. Gilbert Trejo)

Somehow, Chelsea Wolfe made a better theatrical goth video this week than Billie Eilish or Grimes. Until the wedding-chapel stuff, my interpretation was that this was the opening scene of Terminator II, except with an acoustic-guitar Elvira instead of a naked killing-machine muscleman.

2. Katy Perry – “Small Talk” (Dir. Tanu Muino)

Dogs are good.

1. Benny Blanco & Juice WRLD – “Graduation” (Dir. Jake Schreier)

Sincerely, thank you all for reading this goofy thing. I will see you in the Robotic War.