As far as medleys go this isn’t a total shit show like Stars on 45 was but that isn’t saying much. Both these songs, one a classic and the the other one Peter Frampton, are Frankenstein’d together in the most forced, hackneyed way. Switching from the female sung Frampton verses to the male sung Skynyrd verses is lazy and unimaginative. Carr’s vocals are okay if off key. Rosenberg’s vocals sound like he left his balls at home the day he recorded his. The music is so generic and wallpapery that it obliterated any personality the original tracks had. I don’t see how the American record buying public thought: “yes this is appealing, I want to spend my hard earned money on this”. 1.

Here are The Plowie Awards for 1988

Movie Song of the Year
Nominees:
“Hazy Shade Of Winter” – The Bangles (from Less Than Zero)
“Hungry Eyes” – Eric Carmen (from Dirty Dancing)
“Nobody’s Fool” – Kenny Loggins (from Caddyshack II)
“Kiss And Tell” – Bryan Ferry (from Bright Lights, Big City)
“Bin’ Back To Cali” – LL Cool J (from Less Than Zero)

Winner: “Hazy Shade Of Winter” – The Bangles (from Less Than Zero)

Slow Jam of the Year
Nominees:
“Two Occasions” – The Deele
“Nite and Day” – Al B. Sure!
“I Wanna Be Your Man” – Roger
“Paradise” – Sade
“Giving You The Best That I Got” – Anita Baker

Winner: “Nite and Day” – Al B. Sure!

Rocker of the Year
Nominees:
“Welcome To The Jungle” – Guns N’ Roses
“Simply Irrestible” – Robert Palmer
“Pour Some Sugar On Me” – Def Leppard
“Nothin’ But A Good Time” – Poison
“Wait” – White Lion

Winner: “Nothin’ But A Good Time” – Poison

Prom Jam of the Year
Nominees:
“Always On My Mind” – Pet Shop Boys
“Angel” – Aerosmith
“Just Like Paradise” – David Lee Roth
“She’s Like The Wind” – Patrick Swayze
“The Way You Make Me Feel” – Michael Jackson

Winner: “She’s Like The Wind” – Patrick Swayze

Cheating Song of the Year
Nominees:
“Girlfriend” – Pebbles
“Hold On To The Nights” – Richard Marx
“Don’t Be Cruel” – Bobby Brown
“Rag Doll” – Aerosmith

Winner: “Girlfriend” – Pebbles

Funk Jam of the Year
Nominees:
“Hot Thing” – Prince
“I Want Her” – Keith Sweat
“Fishnet” – Morris Day
“Just Got Paid” – Johnny Kenp
“Don’t Be Cruel” – Bobby Brown

Winner: “Hot Thing” – Prince

Sprite Remix of the Year
Nominees:
“Monkey (Jam/Lewis Mix)” – George Michael
“Don’t Be Cruel (Single Mix)” – Cheap Trick
“I Don’t Want Your Love (Pettibone Mix)” – Duran Duran
“1-2-3 (Single Mix)” – Gloria Estefan & Miami Sound Machine

Winner: “I Don’t Want Your Love (Pettibone Mix)” – Duran Duran

BG (Buncha Jibberish)** Song of the Year
Nominees:
“Wishing Well” – Terence Trent D’Arby
“Roll With It” – Steve Winwood
“Kokomo” – Beach Boys
“Wild Wild West” – Escape Club

Winner: “Wishing Well” – Terence Trent D’Arby

Moz Award for Worst Band SEO
Nominees:
So
Boy Meets Girl
Giant Steps
Good Question

Winner: So

Cover Song of the Year
Nominees:
“Got My Mind Set On You” – George Harrison
“Hazy Shade Of Winter” – The Bangles
“Always On My Mind” – Pet Shop Boys
“I Hate Myself For Loving You” – Joan Jett
“Don’t Be Cruel” – Cheap Trick

Winner: “Hazy Shade Of Winter” – The Bangles

Comeback Of The Year
The Beach Boys
Cheap Trick
Joan Jett
George Harrison

Winner: Cheap Trick

Horniest Song of the Year
Nominees:
“Need You Tonight” – INXS
“Turn Out The Lights” – World Class Wreckin’ Cru
“I Need A Man” – Eurythmics
“Push It” – Salt ‘N Pepa
“Hot Thang” – Prince

Winner: “Push It” – Salt ‘N Pepa

Re-Release Song of the Year
Nominees:
“What A Wonderful World” – Louis Armstrong
“Do You Love Me” – The Contours
“Red Red Wine” – UB40
“Jealous Guy” – John Lennon

Winner: “What A Wonderful World” – Louis Armstrong

Lactaid Cheesiest Song of the Year
Nominees:
“Honestly” – Stryper
“Could’ve Been” – Tiffany
“Bad Medicine” – Bon Jovi
“Look Away” – Chicago
“Kokomo” – Beach Boys

Winner: “Honestly” – Stryper

Worst Song of the Year
Nominees:
“Baby I Love Your Way/Freebird (Medley)” – Will To Power
“Kokomo” – Beach Boys
“Don’t Worry, Be Happy” – Bobby McFerrin
“Look Away” – Chicago

Winner: “Baby I Love Your Way/Freebird (Medley)” – Will To Power

*MT58’s ‘Records That You Adore That Nobody Ever Seems To Remember, But Then One Of Our TNOCS Friends Takes The Time To Do A Nice Write Up, Confirming That You Are Not Such An Outlier After All’ Award
Nominees:
“Should I Say Yes” – Nu Shooz
“Somewhere Down The Crazy River” – Robbie Robertson
“Don’t Shed A Tear” – Paul Carrack

Winner: “Should I Say Yes” – Nu Shooz

One-Hit Wonder* of the Year
Bobby McFerrin – “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”
Judson Spence – “Yeah, Yeah, Yeah”
Clime Fisher – “Love Changes (Everything)”
The Church – “Under The Milky Way”
E.U. – “Da Butt”

Winner: The Church – “Under The Milky Way”

Best Debut of the Year
Tracy Chapman
Information Society
Terrence Trent D’Arby
Johnny Hates Jazz

Winner: Tracy Chapman

Most Unwelcome Debut of the Year
Escape Club
New Kids On The Block
Will To Power

Winner: New Kids On The Block

Lost Gem of the Year
“Boom! There She Was” – Scritti Politi featuring Roger
“My Obsession” – Icehouse
“Are You Sure” – So
“Ooo La La La” – Teena Marie
“Got A New Love” – Good Question

Winner: “Boom! There She Was” – Scritti Politi featuring Roger

Song of the Year
“Hazy Shade Of Winter” – The Bangles
“Nite and Day” – Al B. Sure!
“Sweet Child O’ Mine” – Guns ‘N Roses
“Fast Car” – Tracy Chapman
“What Have I Done To Deserve This” – Pet Chop Boys with Dusty Springfield
“Pour Some Sugar On Me” – Def Leppard

Winner: “Sweet Child O’ Mine” – Guns ‘N Roses

Artist of the Year
George Michael
Def Leppard
INXS
Michael Jackson
Guns ‘N Roses

Winner: George Michael

*-Ohe-hit Wonder is an artist who only had 1 song reach the Pop Top 40

**-Named after the patron saints of gibberish lyrics – the Bee Gees

There have been rough waters lately in the Number Ones. I remember switching the radio frequently in 1988/89. Or I’d play a CD or look for better music further on down the charts. Now I’m not saying this will be a recurring feature, but if I see an opportunity to share something better than the song at Number One, I will say:

Listen to this not that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2jin0eOhCU

Last week when looking for a video, a Red Bull Academy video featuring Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis was suggested for my viewing pleasure. You know what, YouTube was right. JJ and TL provide a treasure trove of musical knowledge. At one point they tell the story of meeting and getting to know Prince. The story starts at about the 24-minute point of this video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0Zj0beJ9FI

Jimmy had already taken piano classes with Prince; he was aware that he was great at the piano. They all came together to be a band for a play, some sort of thing, and they were asked what parts of the band they wanted to be. Jimmy assumed that Prince would be keyboards, but he said he wanted to be the guitarist. During the tryout, Prince surprised Jimmy by playing the Terry Kath solo from Chicago’s “Make Me Smile.”

Now think of the scene. Prince and Jimmy Jam are in school band together in the early 70s. Two people who would define Pop music and Black music in the coming decade and beyond, were friends and classmates. Also among their friends, classmates and bandmates, Andre Cymone, Terry Lewis, Alexander O’Neil, and Cynthia Johnson (Lipps Inc.). Jimmy Jam pointed out that Terry Lewis brought the funk, while Jimmy was more influenced by Pop acts like America, so he brought the pretty. He later mentioned that they couldn’t afford a horn section, so those lines would often be done by synths. Funk bottom, Pop pretty on the highs, and horn sections done by synths = The Minneapolis Sound.

I learn something every day. I never imagined that early Chicago could be an inspiration to Prince, but it makes sense. Listen to “Make Me Smile” not the song that topped the chart in 1988.

Will to Power’s “Baby, I Love Your Way/Freebird Medley” top YouTube official music video comments:

1. Looks like a Miami Vice episode. She looks like the misled vixen and he’s the coke dealer with a heart of gold.

2. I totally imagine the dude reading Nietzsche one day, had his mind blown, decided to grow his hair out, get a bike, and record a song about his love of freedom/how he wants a woman who also loves HIS love for freedom.

3. These wrestlers from the 80’s can really sing a song!

4. Imagine if today, in 2021, some group did an moderately-slow, indie-pop-sounding medley of Pussycat Dolls’ “Don’t Cha” and Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy.”

Having trouble imagining that? How about imagining it going to Number One?

Imagine thinking this is truly segregation. This pandemic of ignorance and privilege is going to kill us all.

The “Baby I Love Your Way/Free Bird Medley” is one of the stupidest, most ill-conceived and ill-executed excuses for a pop record I have ever heard, and it is my fourth #1 of this historically dreadful fall of 1988 that I am compelled to rate a 1/10.
To begin with, I was never part of an arena crowd that lit up a joint or held aloft a cigarette lighter at a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert. I never liked the original, revered version of “Free Bird.” And “Baby I Love Your Way” always struck me as a limp, second-rate ballad that never had any business being a hit song the first time around, let alone three different times by three different artists between 1976 and 1994.
So, separately, we’re starting at a severe disadvantage here. But, even for someone who liked either one of these songs in their original form, I still ask, what the hell was the point? What possible connection do either of these songs have to one another that would “inspire” anyone to combine them? It’s like putting whipped cream and chocolate sauce on top of barbecued chicken, or thinking that combining Jeff Altman with Pink Lady would make for great television.
That’s what the “Baby I Love Your Way/Free Bird Medley” is: the Pink Lady & Jeff of #1 pop songs. What was the record-buying public thinking in late 1988, anyway? Who heard this stupid-ass, chintzily-recorded and hideously sung and produced medley on the radio and said, “I HAVE to have that”? Enough to drive this debacle all the way to #1? Really? Had musical tastes really devolved that much in just a couple of years?
So, that’s it, the four #1s of the fall of 1988 that I have been talking up for months that I gave 1/10 to: “Don’t Worry, Be Happy,” “A Groovy Kind of Love,” “Kokomo” and “Baby I Love Your Way/Free Bird Medley.”
With just two more #1s—mercifully—to go before we get the hell out of 1988, I’d like to say that after this fearsome foursome of terrible songs, the worst is over. But I’ve peeked ahead, and damn, it’s NOT. Things really don’t get any better next week.

Something that’s become obvious in revisiting this era through this column is how much the ‘80s owed to Def Leppard. “Pyromania” in particular. And they get somewhat overlooked as a foundational influence.

Bon Jovi was commercially dead until they took that “Pyromania” pixie dust and poured it all over themselves. Then had the audacity to claim some partied-out form of Springsteen authenticity. “Slippery When Wet” checks all the boxes: “Rock of Ages” stadium anthem? “Let It Rock.” “Too Late For Love” mystical ballad? “Wanted Dead Or Alive,” complete with mirrored wind sound effects. “Die Hard The Hunter” epic? “Livin’ On A Prayer.” “Photograph” pop crossover with singalong chorus? “You Give Love A Bad Name.”

Ever the shameless ones, they did it again in 1988 checking off “Hysteria” boxes. “Animal” pop song, complete with false ending? “Bad Medicine.” “Love Bites” weeper with delicate guitar play over synth ambience? “Living In Sin.” And on and on…

Poison, Whitesnake, White Lion and Cinderella saw what Bon Jovi was doing and said, “We’ll have some of that.” I suspect the reason Leppard can still fill stadiums in 2019 while not really pandering to anyone is people subliminally know how fresh their songs were and are. Cinderella comes out looking good, too, as Tom Keifer successfully pulled off the bluesy Stones incorporation whereas Poison and Bon Jovi could not, at least with timeless results.

But it all goes back to Leppard, whose pop shadow is justifiably growing longer as the footprints of rock continue to fade away.

And this is it.

Free Baby gets my pick for the worst song of the 1980s, and every time I hear it I go blind with rage. I hate the plastic keyboards. I hate how impressed the lady and Rosenberg sound so goddamn impressed with heath other, as if combining Baby I Love Your Way with Freebird was Beethoven’s Tenth undiscovered symphony. I hate how the video is like a music video for 1980s Memphis babyface blowjob tag team The Fabulous Ones only not as endearingly cheesy/unintentionally homoerotic. Tom is exactly right. Rosenberg looks exactly like a mid-card heel from Jim Crockett promotions who would be endlessly feuding with Boogie Woogie Man Jimmy Valiant, which would culminate in a terrible hair vs. hair match AND THEN THE FUED STILL WOULDN’T END.

When Bret Kavanaugh was put on the Supreme Court, I turned my friend and said “There is a man who had “Free Baby” by Will To Power as his wedding song.

I realize that a man who has written thousands of words about Poison has no room to throw stones, and I have adopted a live and let live attitude to pop culture as I’ve matured. But not here. Fuck this song. Fuck this band. Fuck Rosenberg and his stupid fucking motorcycle. Goddamn he’s so impressed with himself.

Free Baby is a 1, and if I could go lower I would.

And the younger music public were no longer listening to Top-40 radio, they were watching MTV, and they were not buying singles. They were buying cassettes and soon were buying CDs, but the cassingle never took off, so mostly they were buying albums. This pushed the average age of the music-buying-and-listening public that determined the Top 100 up.

Also this was, I think, the point that radio station consolidation was getting into high gear. So you no longer had individual, local DJs creating the playlists, they were being built centrally and pushed out to local stations. And the playlists were focused on songs that didn’t make listeners want to change the station. Vaguely familiar covers help with that.

It’s easy to make fun of Bret Michaels, because Bret Michaels is a ridiculous person. The bandanna, the sleeveless Poison shirts, the cowboy hat, the way he says “awwwsome.” Rock of Love. I’ve made fun of him. I’ve watched his band make fun of him. I’ve watched Bret Michaels make fun of being Bret Michaels. I’ve personally heard the story of writing Every Rose in that Laundromat in Dallas Texas on at least four occasions. So I get it.

But I love Bret Michaels. I love Bret Michaels because was I an awkward kid who felt like I didn’t belong anywhere, and for some reason, Bret Michaels decided I was cool.

A year after my first Poison show, Bret announced a solo tour and he was playing a tiny club fifteen minutes from my parents’ house that I had been to a million times. Holy shit. Bret Michaels was going to be in Towson. I could potentially talk to him and tell him how much his band meant to me. I found out he liked The Sweet, so I bought him a copy of Desolation Boulevard. I got there early and his band noticed me and started talking to me and I asked “Could you give this to Bret and tell him it’s just a small way of saying thank you.”

“No problem,” Pete Evick said.

Pete came out ten minutes later and said “Hey John, Bret’s diabetes is acting up today, so he won’t be meeting with fans, but he loved the record and wanted to thank you.”

That was all I wanted.

I got in and I’m front row center, and the band started playing “Look What The Cat Dragged In.” Bret bounds onstage, and made a beeline to where I was, and he recognized me from Pier 6. He shot his hand out, shook my hand and said “Great to see you again!” And then boom. He’s doing Bret things. The set was mostly Poison songs, a few solo numbers and cover or two. He finished up with “Talk Dirty” and took a final bow. I don’t know what compelled me to do this, but I pulled out my copy of Look What The Cat Dragged In, and held it up. Bret smiled, pointed and took it from me.

“Big John, I need a Sharpie.”

He pulled out the booklet, and signed it. He handed it back to me and said, “There you go my friend!”

I started crying. He didn’t have to do that.

I went home and wrote a glowing review on the Poison message board, of which I was a charter member. It got a ton of likes, and one day I got a DM.

“Hi, this is Jana. I work for Bret and the band and Bret was really moved by your review and he wants to meet you. We’re playing Baltimore again in a few months, and we want you to be a VIP.”

Four months later, I’m sitting in a tiny club with a VIP pass. Afterwards, a woman in a Poison baseball jersey came up to me. I knew those jerseys. They were crew jerseys.

“Hi! Are you John?”

“Yes.”

“I’m Jana. Come with me. Bret’s ready for you.”

I followed her into a room, and there was the guy who had been staring at me from posters my entire life.

“THERE’S MY FRIEND!” Bret said, all smiles. “John, I am so excited to finally meet you! How the hell are you?”

Bret Michaels knew my name.

“……..I’m um. I’m good, man.

Do not cry in front of Bret Michaels.

I was wearing a vintage “I Want Action” raglan from the Dragging The Cat Across America Tour and a jean jacket with an enormous back patch of the back cover of Look What The Cat Dragged In that Libby made for me as a surprise one Christmas.

“Wow, I don’t even have one of those!” Bret said, pointing at the shirt. “Pete, when was the last time you saw one of these?”

“I told you, Bret. The kid is devoted!”

That broke the ice.

“I have 45 Poison shirts, Bret. I have a tour jacket too. And my mom made me this. May your first child be a masculine child.”

“So you’re the one who pays my mortgage!”

And then he started asking me questions. Do you go to college? (Yes) What’s your major? (Journalism) What bands do you like? (Motley Crue, The Replacements, Poison) Did you like the set? (Hell yes) What did you think of the new songs? (Bittersweet should be the single.)

It was like we’d known each other forever. I brought records for him to sign and he signed them all. I couldn’t believe this was happening. And then my phone rang.

“It’s Mom, where are you?”

“Um, I’m hanging out with Bret Michaels.” Coolest/weirdest sentence ever.

Bret motioned for me to give him my phone. “What’s your mom’s name?”

“Libby.”

“Hi Libby, this is Bret. Your son is a really cool guy and we’re having a blast, feel free to come on back.”

Bret Michaels called me a cool guy. I’ve won.

And that’s how I said, “Mom, this is my friend Bret.”

Bret charmed the hell out of her.

We chatted for a few more minutes and then Libby was like “We gotta go.”

Before we left, Bret came with an imposing guy behind him.

“John,” he said. “This is Big John. He’s my right hand man. He’s going to give you his card and you give him your email. Whenever we’re in town, shoot an email or give him a call and we’ll hook you up, OK? You never have to pay for another ticket. It was great to hang out with you.” He hugged me.

“It was an honor to meet you, Bret.”

“Dude, please. It was my honor. I’ll see you soon, OK?”

Libby, being the eternal optimist: “You probably won’t hear from them again.”

Six months later:

“Hey John, it’s Big John. We’re playing Baltimore and Bret wants to know if you want to come.”

And that’s how it went for several years. I would show up early, run errands for the band. Bret would sit on the steps of his bus with a Diet Coke and listen with the patience of a saint as I asked him Chris Farley-esque questions about the minutia of Poison. Real hard hitting journalism like “You know that move where you and CC and Bobby step step kick? How did you come up with that?” (I ca The only time he ever got annoyed with me was when I asked him one too many questions about the green mic stand in several of the videos and he just was like “John, I have no idea what happened to that, but I ever find it, you will be the first to know.”

He always made time for me. His crew always looked out for me.

One time we were talking and he asked me if I was dating anyone and I said “It’s just hard for me, man. I don’t have the confidence.”

And he looked at me and said, “You’re going to figure things out. I have no doubt about that. Just be yourself. man.”

It was surprisingly non-toxic advice from the guy who sang I Want Action and hosted Rock of Love.

Once Rock of Love happened we fell out of touch. In 2012, Bret played the Maryland State Fair and I took a girl who was in love with him. She’s married now, but to this day, Bret Michaels is her hall pass.

I really liked this girl so I said, “You know, Bret and I are friends.”

“Sure.” she said.

We were in the front row because being disabled has its perks, and Bret bounded onstage like he always does. I hadn’t seen him in about five years, but he recognized me immediately. He mouthed “JOHN! HI!” Then he saw the drop-dead gorgeous girl next to me and saluted.

The girl looked at me with her jaw on the floor.

He was right. I figured it out.

Bret Michaels is a 10.

OMG… really?!? You do know that this is America right?!? What you said is a total socialist thing to say!

Florida handled the pandemic better than the rest of the USA… and they have more retired people there than anyone. Cuomo the killer should have learned from DeSantis and he wouldn’t have all that blood on his hands.

You are probably one of them looters posing as a protester so it gives you a reason to go steal from hard working Americans. So sad.

You should read what the New England Journal of Medicine says about wearing mask to prevent the spread of COVID-19…. Absolutely nothing. In fact you have a greater chance of catching it because your hands are constantly adjusting the mask on your face.
Do not take my word for it …. Read for yourself… educate yourself.

I am a diehard FF fan even knowing what a total control freak Grohl is… I have to agree that by only allowing vaccinated into the show HE IS DISCRIMINATING. Some people don’t get vaccinated for religious beliefs; so you discriminate against them!?! I agree with RS on this one… sorry.

I am Golden’s mama. I think the article had the journalist feeling some internal tension. Some of the facts were not correct. He was signed on his 18 th birthday, not 17 because he wanted to do it himself as a grownup, without my guardianship. His song City of Angels was also on the hot lists in many streaming companies. The songs without cuss words are extremely Mom- Friendly and get a wider demographic of audience. The song Climb is a collaboration for a podcast album that has Golden, Machine Gun Kelly and Tommy Lee working hard to get a positive vibe into our world, helping us climb our of our personal Hell. You ha e to go deeper and really read the lyrics. He pours his heart out on Don’t Sleep, where some compare his gravely voice to Bob Marley in other publications. Check your inner child, Chris…