Will Smith’s marriage to Jada Pinkett Smith has been in the public eye a whole lot lately — some might even say too much. The Smiths have been talking openly about their marital issues in public for a while, and they’ve made it part of their public persona. In his new memoir Will, which came out earlier this week, Smith talks about the early days of their relationship, including his own jealousy with his wife’s friendship with Tupac Shakur.

Jada and Tupac Shakur were teenage friends, classmates at the Baltimore School Of The Arts, and they maintained that friendship as both of them found fame. Jada and Tupac were never an item, but in his book, Smith writes about being upset about that friendship anyway. Here’s the relevant passage:

Though they were never intimate, their love for each other is legendary — they define “ride or die.”

In the beginning of our relationship, my mind was tortured by their connection. He was ‘PAC and I was me.

He had fearless passion that was intoxicating, a militant morality, and a willingness to fight and die for what he believed was right. ‘Pac was like [my older brother] Harry — he triggered the perception of myself as a coward. I hated that I wasn’t what he was in the world, and I suffered a raging jealousy: I wanted Jada to look at me like that.

So when Jada and I committed to each other, and the demands of our relationship made her less available to ‘Pac, my immature mind took it as a twisted kind of victory. Jada was the paragon, the pinnacle, the queen of queens. If she chose me over Tupac, there was no way I could be a coward. I have rarely felt more validated.

I was in a room with Tupac on multiple occasions, but I never spoke to him. The way Jada loved ‘Pac rendered me incapable of being friends with him. I was too immature.

Will is out now via Penguin Press.