Meanwhile in Canada…

Those crazy sales-only non-chart charts in Canada continue through 2006, but worth noting this monster hit from our good friend Madonna. Riffing on ABBA’s “Gimme Gimme Gimme,” Madonna’s “Hung Up” was #1 in Canada from December through April (with a brief two-week interruption – Canadian Idol winner Melissa O’Neil’s “Alive”?) for a total of 15 weeks. Canada was not alone; it topped the charts in 41 countries, a world record, and rightfully so. As the kids say, it’s a banger. It only reached #7 on the Hot 100. Come on, America, what’s wrong with you!

https://youtu.be/EDwb9jOVRtU

Line of the Day:

“In New York, heads looked at “Laffy Taffy” the way English villagers might’ve once looked at Viking longboats.”

Using Laffy Taffy in a sexual context is at best, a stretch.  (Yes, I did that purposely.)  And a man comparing his member to a Jolly Rancher makes sense texture-wise (Jolly Rancher is the hardest of all candies afterall), but the size of the candy does not work out in the man’s favor.  The Chick-O-Stick reference isn’t bad.  I was thinking about what other candy would make sense as a euphemism for sex, sexual organs or sexiness, based strictly on the names alone, and here are some possibilities- 

Bit-O-Honey

Milky Way

Mounds

Skor

Warheads

Sugar Daddy (of course)

Sugar Babies

Whoppers

Big Hunk

Lik-m-aid

Hot Tamales

Bun

Mamba

Atomic Fireballs

Chunky

Wazoo (yes, that is a candy bar that exists)

Why did I take the time to do this?  I guess I wanted to contribute in some way to the conversation on today’s #1, and it’s what I’ve got.Yes, it’s come down to this.

Some are asking “who is limiting the availability of her new music?”

The answer is simple:

Sky’s the limit.

Send tweet

Five years! Amazing.

Turns out that it’s true: Time flies when you’re having fun.

Atta boy, @TomBreihan.

Who knows what’s going on behind the scenes here, but in situations like this I always wonder what their day to day looks like. Like does Sky wake up, call her manager to ask if she can put the album out today, get a no and then just play skyrim the rest of the week?

I think I’ve told this joke before, but:

Q: What kind of music do windmills like?

A They’re huge metal fans.

Aaaay, thanks everyone! And thanks for reading, commenting, and turning this into a whole thing. I love doing this.

Got a message back from the Big Thief team today inviting my high school students to sound check + conversation. Hoping I can get trip approved by our school system. And they are offering to chip in $500 to help with transportation. I don’t always need my fave bands to also be good people but it’s cool when it works out that way.

By the way, this Saturday will mark the fifth anniversary of when Tom started writing this column. Going from 1958 to the start of 2006 in music in 60 months is pretty impressive to me. Let’s give him a hearty salute for what he’s done and has left to accomplish here.

I sure hope that Mark didn’t actually write those lyrics and use the ChatGPT as pretext to get Nick’s thoughts on them.