The Alternative Number Ones: Elvis Costello’s “Veronica”

In The Alternative Number Ones, I'm reviewing every #1 single in the history of the Billboard Modern Rock Tracks/Alternative Songs, starting with the moment that the chart launched in 1988. This column is a companion piece to The Number Ones, and it's for subscribers only. Thank you to everyone who's helping to keep Stereogum afloat.

Rock 'n' roll has never given us a better, bitchier human quote machine than David Lee Roth, and his best, bitchiest quote might be this: "The reason the critics all like Elvis Costello better than me is because they all look like Elvis Costello."

Now: It's entirely possible that David Lee Roth never said this. I've gone looking for the original quote, and I can't find it. In different accounts, the exact wording varies. This might just be one of those telephone-game oral-tradition things, but it's so specific and economical that I'm just going to choose to believe that it's real. Diamond Dave might've said that shit 40 years ago, and it's still true. As a skinny white guy in chunky black glasses, I'm here to tell you that I do, in fact, love Elvis Costello. I might even love him more than I love David Lee Roth.