Noah Kahan Recounts Being Hospitalized For Eating Too Many Sunflower Seeds
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Remember that time Lil Xan was hospitalized for eating too many Flamin’ Hot Cheetos? The emo rapper is now being one-upped by the viral folk-pop artist Noah Kahan, who was hospitalized for eating too many sunflower seeds when he was 23.
We all have our vices; for the “Stick Season” singer, it’s masticating sunflower seeds with the shells on. You’re not supposed to do that, but the fact that it’s forbidden makes it even tastier, let’s be real. Kahan first revealed the full story in a TikTok last year, but reiterated it recently for the TikTok account GM Golf. Here’s how he retold it:
I went to the hospital five years ago for eating too many sunflower seeds. It was so brutal. I was watching Training Day and my parents were splitting up and so there wasn’t a lot of groceries around at the time. So I was just eating sunflower seeds because I don’t want to go to the store. I ate two whole bags while watching Training Day with Denzel [Washington]. The next day, just, dude, trying to take a shit, screaming on the toilet, bro. Literally screaming like a wounded deer, bro. I drive myself to the hospital and they have those little — you know when you go to the ER and it’s like, “How much pain are you in?” It’s like smiley face, frowny face. I was just fucking grinding the frowny face into the paper.
They had all these interns, like, “We’ve never seen this before.” This old lady gave me this oat milk stuff that I had to shove up my butthole and I passed an enema while watching an international friendly soccer game. It was one of the worst experiences in my life. The sad part is the next day I went right back to the seeds, bro. It’s like a toxic relationship.
Despite the toxicity of his relationship with sunflowers seeds, Kahan’s fans do bring him bags of them at his shows. Kahan’s preferred sunflower seeds are Bigs Hidden Valley Ranch Sunflower Seeds. He has claimed to have made a “detailed and exhaustive ranking of our nations gas stations and their respective snacks”; after the seeds are “2. Reese’s Sticks 3. Doritos spicy nacho or blazing Buffalo ranch but those are out of circulation in most states 4. Muddy buddies cookies and cream 5. Tabasco Slim Jim’s 6. Sugar Babies.” Meanwhile, Kahan will appear on James Bay’s new song “Up All Night” alongside the Lumineers on Friday.
@gm__golf You can’t make this up @Noah Kahan #golftiktok #golf #fyp ♬ original sound – Garrett Clark – Golf Account
@todaystophits Note to self: never give @Noah Kahan too many sunflower seeds. Results may vary. #todaystophits #noahkahan #busyheads #fandom #favorites #spotify ♬ original sound – Todays Top Hits
@noahkahanmusic Replying to @Alyssa ♬ original sound – Noah Kahan
