This Halloween, It’s Scary How Many New Christmas Songs Have Already Been Released
The music industry, according to The New York Times, is “hoping Halloween can be the new Christmas”: to make October into an all-month spooky-season sales bonanza just like it made a seasonal sales bonanza of everything after November 1. Marc Hogan writes: “Fueled by streaming, Halloween can be a way for artists who delve into darker themes — think Ethel Cain, Travis Scott, Rob Zombie — to tap into the zeitgeist before sleigh bells drown them out.”
We will have you know that we were there from the start. There’s no better way to honor the frights of Halloween than to dwell upon the excesses of the season that follows, which the music industry annually foists upon the public well before All Hallows’ Eve. Here, then, are some of this year’s musical offerings for all who celebrate.
Kelly Clarkson – “You For Christmas”
Clarkson is second only to Mariah Carey in her tenure as a modern master of wholesome Christmas ceremonies. She also has a long tenure as a brassy-voiced Motown interpreter, so it’s no surprise that “Underneath The Tree,” Clarkson’s 2013 holiday tune, got much of its staying power from a familiar little bauble of a Motown melody: The Four Tops’ “I Can’t Help Myself.”
When you’re an artist who records a lot of Christmas songs, as Clarkson is, you often find yourself in a festivity arms race, every single built bigger and bigger. On “You For Christmas,” Clarkson brings Mark Ronson into the mix, and Ronson does what Ronson does: bedazzling the arrangement into a lavish, overstuffed package of every Motown highlight possible. The lyrics are a take on the classic holiday theme you know and may love: “all I want for Christmas is you.” There are two varieties on this. “All I want for Christmas is you, and that makes me festive!” This is the other kind: “All I want for Christmas is you, and that makes me sad (but also still festive)”.
See also: Jennifer Hudson, The Gift Of Love
Vince Gill & Amy Grant – “When I Think Of Christmas”
Vince and Amy have even longer Christmas-music tenures; if your holiday nostalgia dates to the ’80s and ’90s, this song may be aimed directly at you. “When I Think Of Christmas,” from their first joint Christmas record, is a cover of Christian contemporary artist Matt Maher. Maher’s song, an orchestral behemoth, might be described as “epic” if you’re charitable and “almost parodic” if you’re not. Gill and Grant chill it out a lot; their take is a deeply ’90s throwback, down to that one falling-star glissando effect. And it must be said – sorry Maher fans – that Grant’s voice is far more iconic than his.
See also: Rod Stewart, Merry Christmas, Baby (reissue)
Orville Peck – “Happy Trails”
This title understood the assignment more than any assignment has ever been understood. Aside from that, this one-off holiday song plays it simple: a love song to a man with an arpeggiated guitar line that nods to the aforementioned “Hallelujah,” an old-fashioned choral bridge, and requisite jingle bells. “Happy Trails” feels like a foregone conclusion for two reasons. One: the title. Two: Peck is exactly the artist who you’d expect a holiday song from, at this exact point in his career. Three: The track conjures a surprising revelation: Peck’s voice, deep and resonant, kind of does similar things to Bing Crosby’s.
See also: Dolly Parton, Billy The Kid Comes Home For Christmas (a book, not an album, or else it’d get its own entry)
Kesha – “Holiday Road”
Lindsey Buckingham’s “Holiday Road” appeared in National Lampoon’s Vacation (both the 1983 film and the 2015 sequel), National Lampoon’s European Vacation, and National Lampoon’s Vegas Vacation. It did not appear in Christmas Vacation. On Disney’s holiday special last year, country singer Chris Janson attempted to induce a Disney-adult Mandela effect by claiming that it did – do not be fooled!
This should tell you something: Like “Hallelujah,” “Holiday Road” is only tenuously a Christmas song. It is a road-trip highway song – which means that, also like “Hallelujah,” it is actually good. So even though Kesha’s perpetuating the Christmas-song myth with this Spotify Singles entry, we’ll allow it. The substance-fueled chaos of Buckingham’s original video is very much “Joyride”-coded, and Kesha’s recorded plenty of soaring choruses like this in her career: Think “Blow” or “Warrior.” She beefs up the synth line, too, similar to the Parenthetical Girls’ cover of “Thank God It’s Not Christmas.”
See also: Steve Perry, The Season 3
Ben Folds – “We Could Have This” (Feat. Lindsey Kraft)
Ben Folds, gosh-darned arch as always, named his newly released Christmas album Sleigher. (No relation to the Slayer tribute project that already exists.) On the first line of “We Could Have This,” he strikes a similar tone: “Gosh, I love the snow, now that we’re both in it.” Folds fans will find much to celebrate here, and the track’s conclusion, sweet harmonizing over swelling strings, would be poignant in any season.
See also: Ed Sheeran, “Under The Tree” (from the upcoming Netflix movie That Christmas, so not out yet)
Jeff Goldblum With Veronica Swift And The Mildred Snitzer Orchestra – “Blue Christmas”
If you were already aware of Jeff Goldblum’s jazz hobby, this won’t surprise you. If not, this artist listing probably sounds like a meme. It probably isn’t actually a bit, but if it is, Goldblum commits. He’s done a weekly residency with the Mildred Snitzer Orchestra at Rockwell Table & Stage in Los Angeles for years, channeling his acting skills into a persona that The Independent called a “suave jazz-bar lech.”
On this cover of “Blue Christmas,” Goldblum is certainly suave, with an understated, almost spoken delivery. He’s clearly having a great time adlibbing over his bandmate’s solo: “midnight blue… navy…” (low voice) “azure.” Bebop singer and scatter Veronica Swift, meanwhile, plays things straighter.
See also: Jimmy Fallon’s “Holiday Seasoning”
Conan Gray – “Holidays”
Like Troye Sivan before him, Conan Gray has made the lucrative jump from YouTube vlogger to sensitive pop boy. (One representative playlist, with almost 30,000 saves on Spotify, is called “Conan Gray songs but they get sadder and sadder.”)
Surprisingly (to me; not to you, any stans reading this), “Holidays” might be one of the best tracks here. Produced by Dan Nigro, the song uses the drifting “Silver Bells” melody as a starting point; the whistled outro in particular would fit right in on a cozy-Christmas mix. The lyrics, though, go past standard seasonal sentimentality; they’re a genuinely moving take on traveling home to a town full of fading friendships. Most sharply sketched is the first verse: “At Kerbey Lane, the coffee tastes like gasoline. Could you order some for me? I’m too cold, and I’m too tired to speak.”
See also: Sixpence None The Richer’s “I Believe In Father Christmas”
Dean & Britta & Sonic Boom – “Pretty Paper”
Dean & Britta of Luna and Peter Kember of Spaceman 3 have conjured enough indiepop bliss over the decades that their Christmas collab has a leg up on this list already. “Pretty Paper” began as a Willie Nelson demo, an outwardly festive but subtly lonely vignette of a street vendor during peak shopping season. When Roy Orbison recorded it, he played the arrangement decidedly trad. Dean & Britta and Sonic Boom modernize it into a gentle synthpop pulse, a recurring sequencer line winding its way like tinsel around the melody.
See also: Sunturns’ Christmas III (billed as “Norway’s Christmas indiepop supergroup”)
Little Big Town – “Evergreen”
Little Big Town’s The Christmas Record is the first holiday album in the band’s nearly 20-year career, accompanying their special Christmas At The Opry. They’ve recorded both standards and original tracks for the record, but two of them showcase the group best. “Santa Claus Is Back In Town,” an Elvis cover doing Elvis things, lets Little Big Town riproar as their best singles do. And “Evergreen,” a midtempo showcase of rootsy harmonies, evokes Dolly and, weirdly but welcomely, ABBA.
See also: Brett Eldredge’s Merry Christmas (Welcome To The Family) (also with Kelly Clarkson!)
John Waters – “Jingle Bells” (the Singing Dogs version)
It is critically important to specify that this is the 1971 version of “Jingle Bells,” sung by dogs and popularized by Dr. Demento. The cover art advises “please don’t listen to this record,” a warning no one will heed. Out on Sub Pop Nov. 8.
See also: None. No one can match his freak.
BONUS BEATS:
New Heights, A Philly Special Christmas Party
We included Philadelphia Eagles player Jason Kelce’s ongoing Christmas charity project last year, but we’re including them again for a simple reason: Stevie Nicks Mentioned. This year’s album, out Nov. 29, will feature the legend on… something. (Speaking of legendary artists, Philly’s own Boyz II Men are also on the album.) Kelce described the feature on Instagram cryptically, but maybe not incorrectly: “the crossover we didn’t know we needed.”
Whatitdo Archive Club – “Wild Man”
Closing things out, here’s a track that proves that Halloween truly is the new Christmas. Nevada’s Whatitdo Archive Club released an album of retro exotica last year that earned the group a rapturous review in Popmatters. “Wild Man” is their entry in the annual Snowflake Singles Club series, which previously featured indie-poppers Bis and The Boy Least Likely To. The track, which the group likens to jazz artist Pharoah Sanders, retells the legend of the child-catching Krampus: “‘Wild Man’ is meant to weave an ominous spell over any Christmas cocktail party long after the kids have gone to bed.” Out Nov. 29.
And even more new Christmas releases this year…
• We Wish You A Merry Gothmas compilation
• “Christmas Kiss By The Fire” from what a press release claims is the “world’s first AI-generated Christmas jazz album”
• Mariah Carey’s Christmas single reissues
• Saweetie’s Dear Big Santa
• Blake Shelton “Go Tell It On The Mountain”
• Clay Aiken’s “Do You Hear What I Hear?”
• Cat Cohen’s “can u send me that?”
• Caylee Hammack’s “Blue Christmas”
• Jonathan McReynolds’ “Red & Green”
• Chapel Hart’s “Come On Santa (Ready For Christmas Now)”
• The Carpenters’ Christmas Once More comp
• The Mormon Tabernacle Choir: Sings Christmas Carols expanded reissue
• King + Country’s Drummer Boy Christmas (LIVE) and in theaters
• John Legend’s Christmas tour
