Once again, we Americans have proven ourselves wholly immune to the charms of big-deal UK pop star Robbie Williams, whether or not he takes the form of a CGI monkey. A quarter century ago, Williams noisily launched his solo career, and the United States gave it a big shrug. Now, the new biopic Better Man, which tells Williams’ story through the eyes of a CGI monkey, is a resounding flop in the US. As Variety reports, Better Man, director Michael Gracey’s follow-up to the blockbuster musical The Greatest Showman, opened wide last weekend and barely earned $1 million. The magazine’s tweet about the film’s paltry box office went viral, with tons of people saying some version of “we don’t know who that is.”

The Robbie Williams biopic “Better Man” isn’t exactly going bananas with a puny $580,000 opening day. Paramount acquired the feature for North American distribution for $25 million. https://t.co/zzA9dcFRS2 pic.twitter.com/8JWl4kFIQq

— Variety (@Variety) January 11, 2025

Meanwhile, Williams’ song “Forbidden Road” has been disqualified from the Oscars shortlist. But these disappointments didn’t stop Williams’ charm offensive. On Sunday, as commercial hopes for Better Man were crumbling, Robbie Williams did a Q&A event in New York. He wore a leopard-print coat, brought his daughter onstage, and officiated a wedding ceremony when a member of the audience asked him to do it. Williams used the internet to become an ordained minister in 2002, so he had the qualifications. From the footage of this momentous event, it appears that Williams upheld his sacred duty while drinking a Slurpee. Witness it below.

At today's BETTER MAN Q&A in NYC, Robbie Williams was vulnerable, receptive to the audience's energy, took time to have a heart to heart with his daughter, and then a man in the audience asked him, as an ordained minister, to officiate a marriage with his fiancé. Incredible. pic.twitter.com/I7DShBCldK

— Ezra Cubero (@EzraCubero) January 12, 2025

I love NYC what do you mean Robbie Williams officiated a wedding at this Q&A? https://t.co/46Qp1TEUew pic.twitter.com/s3vP7TPyCJ

— Brian (@midsommarz) January 12, 2025

I was among the millions of Americans who didn’t see Better Man this weekend. I’ll get around to it eventually. He seems like a good guy.