The Alternative Number Ones: R.E.M.’s “What’s The Frequency, Kenneth?”

In The Alternative Number Ones, I'm reviewing every #1 single in the history of the Billboard Modern Rock Tracks/Alternative Songs, starting with the moment that the chart launched in 1988. This column is a companion piece to The Number Ones, and it's for members only. Thank you to everyone who's helping to keep Stereogum afloat.

Dan Rather didn't know what the fuck was going on. All he knew was that someone was beating him up while repeatedly saying something that didn't make any sense at all. In the fall of 1986, Rather was one of the most recognizable men in America. Every weeknight, Rather hosted CBS Evening News, one of three network news shows that millions upon millions of people watched while eating their dinner. (My house was a Peter Jennings house, but I personally liked Rather the best.) Rather had covered the JFK assassination, Nixon's trip to China, Watergate, and the Challenger explosion. He'd been attacked before. At the Democratic National Convention in 1968, a security guard punched Rather in the stomach live on air while he was trying to interview a delegate. I'm sure that wasn't fun, but Rather at least had some context for what was happening there. On this night in 1986, context simply didn't exist. The two guys attacking Rather didn't even seem to recognize him. They thought Rather was some guy named Kenneth.

"Kenneth, what is the frequency?" That's what one of the men wanted to know. Dan Rather had met a friend for dinner, and he was heading home, walking down Park Avenue in Manhattan. Two well-dressed men walked up to him, and one of them asked him that question. Rather told them that they had the wrong guy, and the man who'd asked him the frequency punched him in the jaw and knocked him down. Rather took off running into the lobby of his building, but the two men chased him inside and repeatedly kicked him in the back. Rather called for help, and his building's doorman and super rushed to his aid. Rather had money on him, but the two men didn't rob him. The two men ran off, and they were never caught. Police were absolutely baffled. They couldn't even figure out a motive.