The Alternative Number Ones: Primitive Radio Gods’ “Standing Outside A Broken Phone Booth With Money In My Hand”

In The Alternative Number Ones, I’m reviewing every #1 single in the history of the Billboard Modern Rock Tracks/Alternative Songs, starting with the moment that the chart launched in 1988. This column is a companion piece to The Number Ones. The column is now biweekly, alternating with The Number Ones on Mondays.

The term "one-hit wonder" is inherently derogatory. It implies failure. If you're a one-hit wonder, that means you got your foot in the door. You made it happen. You caught the elusive zeitgeist, and then you let it slip through your fingers. Presumably, record-label people invested some serious capital in you, and they probably didn't see a return. You blew it, and now you are consigned to the realm of novelty acts and where-are-they-now human-interest stories. Good job, stupid.

For plenty of one-hit wonders, that's definitely how the whole story looks. Most of them probably hate being called that. Plenty of them would probably argue that they are not one-hit wonders, that their third single made it to #13 on the Bubbling Under chart or something. Plenty of them are probably right! But sometimes, one-hit wonder status represents unlikely achievement. That's where I would file Primitive Radio Gods, the not-a-band band who had exactly one contemplative, bittersweet post-Beck smash that ruled the alt-rock airwaves for the second half of summer 1996. For a minute there, Primitive Radio Gods became actual radio gods. They were not especially well-suited for this job, and they didn't hang onto it for long.