The Alternative Number Ones: 311’s “Down”

In The Alternative Number Ones, I’m reviewing every #1 single in the history of the Billboard Modern Rock Tracks/Alternative Songs, starting with the moment that the chart launched in 1988. This column is a companion piece to The Number Ones. The column is now biweekly, alternating with The Number Ones on Mondays.

Some people wanted me to delay this column for two days. See, Wednesday is March 11, which means it's 311 Day. That's not a real holiday, but the band treats it like one. For a while, they've been embarking on 311 Day Caribbean cruises and whatnot. 311 non-fans have made 311 Day a goofy thing online, too, especially in the comments section of this website.

Well, no. Sorry. I'm not doing that. This column is a serious, academic deep-dive investigation into the history of the alternative rock charts. This is my life. I'm not here to participate in your memes. If this edition of the column happened to line up with 311's made-up holiday, then it would run on that day. It doesn't, and I will not bend time and space to accommodate such foolishness. If you want to wait two days to read it, go ahead. You're a paying subscriber. You can read it whenever you want. But I am a serious person, and I will not be a party to these silly games.