There's an issue of the zine Law of Inertia (now folded into Reignition Records) somewhere containing an interview with someone, maybe Ann Beretta, where they call the pop punk of the late '90s the new hair metal— it's just sped-up Warrant!Given the ubiquity of the bands, the indistinguishable sound, and their shared approaches to life (for: girls, fun. against: breakups, anything else that makes you sad) it seemed like insight at the time.Now that MTV is calling My Chemical Romance and Panic! at the Disco Hair Metal's Second Coming, we have to wonder: Does calling something the new hair metal have the same relationship to arguing about music that bringing up Hitler does to arguing about politics?No offense to MTV's article, which is pretty good, but does invoking "the new hair metal" automatically invalidate your argument?At least there's a reason to hate Hitler.All Blackie Lawless ever did was invent the most awesome stage name ever and wear a buzzsaw codpiece.Why is hair metal the worst thing you can compare a genre to?
- Hair metal marked the first time critics were beaten to death with their impotence, so if your world-weary reviews don't dent sales for a couple different albums, it's time to figure out what the new [punchline associated with hair metal that hasn't been taken yet] is
- Snobs hate music poor people love unless it's old, but hating rap makes you look like a right-wing prude or a racist, and none of your readers listen to country, so calling something the new Western Swing is pointless
- It never actually went away but a new generation of critics are signaling professionally by adding something to the official disdain pile
- Cocaine
- It happened while/took advantage of things that are generally held to be bad, so whichever genre is doing the same thing, or pulling the same levers is automatically the new hair metal
A quick search reveals, in addition to emo-punk, regular old non-punk emo, country, and indie rock being compared to hair metal in the first ten results ("beards are the new 'big hair'"), so we're not making this up.In another ten years, people will ask "Is 'x is the new rave' the new 'x is the new hair metal'?" for a living and people will still like simple fun rock about simple emotions even though critics hate it.
