And down goes Clarkson! (via KellyClarkson.com)
"?A lot has been made in the press about my relationship with Clive [Davis]. Much of this has been blown way out of proportion and taken out of context. Contrary to recent characterizations in the press, I'm well aware that Clive is one of the great record men of all time...I really regret how this has turned out and I apologize to those whom I have done disservice. I would never intentionally hurt anyone. I love music, and I love the people I am blessed to work with. I am happy that my team is behind me and I look forward to the future."
-Kelly
Aah Kelly. Lovely even in defeat. But don't feel bad about the crow you're choking down. You're not the first musician to offer a sorta-humiliating apology for doing something stupid, and you definitely won't be the last. To help cheer you up, we've put together some other famous mea culpas from the last few decades.
Rick James apologizes to Mary Sauger (1994)
"Remember that time I held you hostage in a hotel room for twenty hours and burned you with a crack pipe? Well, hindsight is always 20/20, but in retrospect I probably should have let the crack pipe cool down before I touched it repeatedly to your exposed thigh. I'm really sorry that happened. Live and learn, I guess."
Kanye West apologizes to George W. Bush (2005)
"During the Katrina benefit telethon, I used a poor choice of words to describe my feelings about President Bush. In fact, the President and I have a good relationship, based on mutual respect: I fully support him in the War on Terror, and he hates me because I'm black."
Gary Glitter apologizes to young boys (2002)
"Duh-duh-duuuuuuh-duuuuuh-duuuuuh-HEY!-duh-duh-duh. Duh-duh-duuuuuuh-duuuuuh-duuuuuh-HEY!-duh-duh-duh. Bumpa-dumpa-bumpa-dumpa-bumpa-dumpa-bumpa-dumpa. Sorry I molested you. HEY!"
Biggie and Tupac apologize to each other (1997)
"Biggie, I'm sorry I faked my own death, blamed it on you, and then died ironically in a small-plane crash en route to the Tahitian island where I had planned to live the rest of my days."
"Tupac, I'm also sorry that I faked my own death, blamed it on you, and then died, also somewhat ironically, while eating a giant plate of ribs in the backseat of a moving limo on the way to the small plane that was to take me to my own private island."
"In retrospect, we made some poor choices in our lives."
"Yes. Let's rap about it from beyond the grave."
Sinead O'Connor apologizes to NBC (1992)
"During a recent episode of Saturday Night Live, I made a poor choice and defaced a picture of the Pope on live television. I realize now that my actions were immature and unwarranted, and if I have offended anyone, including the capitalist pigs at GM, the fascists at the FCC, or that dirty whore Victoria Jackson, then I am truly, deeply, sorry."
Avril Lavigne apologizes to Peaches (2007) (via text message)
"omg im so fckn sry!! :( "
Chuck Berry apologizes to anonymous woman in bathroom (1990)
"I'm not even sure why I'm the one apologizing here. I mean, you're the one who pooped on my camera."
