BILL O'REILLY: You actually have an influence on this presidential election. That is scary. JON STEWART: If that were so, that would be quite frightening. BILL O'REILLY: But it is. It's true. I mean, you've got stoned slackers watching your dopey show every night, OK, and they can vote. Read the whole transcript at Wonkette. Meanwhile, Stereogum literary correspondant Kevan ...