The Onion’s sister site Clickhole posted an article today called, “I Regret Waiting Until Marriage To Have Sex With All 3 Members Of Yo La Tengo,” where the author lamented that she saved sex for marriage when she could have had sex with all three members of the New Jersey band. “All throughout high school and college, I was the only one of my friends who wasn’t having sex with Yo La Tengo. So, when I found myself in bed with Ira Kaplan, Georgia Hubley, and bassist James McNew on the night of my wedding, l really had no idea what I was supposed to do,” the author writes. Later, she says, “In hindsight, I can’t help but wish I hadn’t waited until marriage to go all the way with Yo La Tengo. It just would have made things so much easier. And I know my husband feels the same way.” It’s maybe the second funniest satire article about Yo La Tengo, following this one. Read it over here.

Yo La Tengo recently announced a 20th anniversary reissue of Painful and some 30th anniversary reunion shows. Details here.