BADBADNOTGOOD Co-Founder Matthew Tavares Explains Departure
Back in 2019, BADBADNOTGOOD’s keyboardist Matthew Tavares left the band that he had co-founded. Since his departure, the Toronto group — which now includes Alex Sowinski, Chester Hansen, and Leland Whitty — has continued to release music, including a new album called Talk Memory earlier this year. When Tavares first announced that he was leaving the band — which came after he had already stepped back from touring for a couple years — he wrote that he was still “on good terms” with the group in a since-deleted statement.
On Friday, Tavares posted a new statement on his Instagram account explaining his departure from the band in greater detail. “I realize I’ve never really publicly talked about leaving BADBAD in anyway other than my post about it two years ago,” he wrote. “A post that I spent a lot of time mulling over to make sure it seemed balanced and inoffensive and gave an honest perspective into how hard of a decision it was for me to leave.”
“Unfortunately Alex and BBNG’s management didn’t agree, and I was unfollowed from their Instagram shortly after,” he continued. “Of course not without them commenting an emoji heart on my post to make sure no-one caught on and it was all ‘good vibes’. This is a small microcosm of what it was like to be in BADBAD the 9 years I was in the band.”
Tavares goes on to write that the band’s “environment was so negative” that he “needed to get out” and “couldn’t take it anymore.” He said that he felt slighted when the band’s press materials surrounding their new album didn’t mention his past contributions to the band. “Their new biography on their bandcamp doesn’t even mention my name,” he wrote. “When I was about to leave I was told by management to play along to this narrative so they don’t sacrifice their XL Record deal, and I did, but the record is out now and I can tell that the story will not be set straight by them.”
“While of course I can feel resentment and jealousy about not being on some big label or having the exposure of the band anymore, I have my freedom and I have love and I am surrounded by people who I respect and who respect me. It’s an incredible feeling,” Tavares concluded. “Do not assume I’m writing this from some angry place. I feel really grounded and happy, but I need to live honestly. I am unfortunately still afraid of BBNG. They have so many resources, so much legal power, a huge instagram following and are on one of the biggest labels in the world. That’s why it’s taken me so long to post it. But I can’t let my fear get in the way anymore.”
Here’s Tavares’ full Instagram statement:
I realize I’ve never really publicly talked about leaving BADBAD in anyway other than my post about it two years ago. A post that I spent a lot of time mulling over to make sure it seemed balanced and inoffensive and gave an honest perspective into how hard of a decision it was for me to leave. Unfortunately Alex and BBNG’s management didn’t agree, and I was unfollowed from their Instagram shortly after. Of course not without them commenting an emoji heart on my post to make sure no-one caught on and it was all ‘good vibes’. This is a small microcosm of what it was like to be in BADBAD the 9 years I was in the band. The peace and love exterior is a front to hide the darker interior, as it almost always is. I know a lot of people are going to be rolling their eyes at this thinking this is driven by pettiness because I’m not in the band anymore. Just so everything is clear, I left on my own volition, leaving the master rights to a band that has 4 million monthly listeners on Spotify, to a band whose touring income was at insane heights, with an identity that was consistently validated and praised by our peers and the general public.
The environment was so negative that all this didn’t matter, I needed to get out, I couldn’t take it anymore. The record needs to be set straight. For my own sanity. Their lack of acknowledgement of me leaving has gotten to the point of insult. Their new biography on their bandcamp doesn’t even mention my name. When I was about to leave I was told by management to play along to this narrative so they don’t sacrifice their XL Record deal, and I did, but the record is out now and I can tell that the story will not be set straight by them. I was not just simply some interchangeable member in the band, as their biography insinuates. The very first videos were filmed by my friends with my cameras, edited by me, recorded by me with my gear. The band was named by me and my friend Connor. The studio we made when the band had no money was funded entirely by me and Frank Dukes. We went to HUGE lengths to set up everything. The first two records were recorded by my friend Matt MacNeil (of Homer fame) and me. All of IV was recorded and mixed by me. All the artwork done in collaboration with me and Connor Olthuis. All the package design, including Sour Soul, done by me. I was the only member of the band with a drivers licence before Leland joined, and it was a good 7 years of touring before we got a tour manager. The website that became viral in its own right and led to 100,000s of thousands of downloads of our early music was made by me, with a server set up by me. Not to mention the regular stuff a band member does like writing music, going on tour for half the year, etc. You can call it narcissistic or egotistical to point all this stuff out, but I cannot explain how frustrating it is to see the band perpetuate a narrative where I essentially did nothing. All because of their own insecurity. To be unfollowed by the Instagram you made is a funny feeling. I gave every waking breath of my life for 9 years and every ounce of my ability to this band, to help create what it was. When I stopped touring it was held over my head constantly by Alex. Always mentioning it to other people, while of course not mentioning the huge amount of money he made when I was no longer taking the cut.
I feel like this story sums it all up. In South Africa we were out late one night and I overheard screams coming from down an alley as we were driving home. We pulled over and I ran to see what was happening and saw a man literally holding a woman down to the ground about to rape her. The woman was screaming in a way that it still gives me shivers when I think about it. I ran way ahead of everyone else and grabbed the guy and forced him down until the cops arrived. It was one of the single scariest moments of my life. Every second of forcing this guy down I was praying he didn’t have a gun or a knife on him. The cops arrived and took him away, the woman was so hysterical she could barely breath. The next day Alex said that I should have “beat him up more” in a monotone, despite standing 2 blocks away during the whole thing, and the manager said “don’t save anymore lives.” And that was that. Even an action like that goes without acknowledgement. It was forgotten about quickly and only brought up again in some ironic joking way to try to diminish me which is fucked up in its own right.
I can probably give 100000 more examples of this kind of behavior but it was so fucking tiring. So annoying to be holding everyone up and shit on. I realize now how much of it was my responsibility of course. I believed that I deserved to be shit on. That I deserved to not be acknowledged from my lack of belief in myself. Gladly placing everyone above me. But that’s changed now. So there you have it. That’s why I left. While of course I can feel resentment and jealousy about not being on some big label or having the exposure of the band anymore, I have my freedom and I have love and I am surrounded by people who I respect and who respect me. It’s an incredible feeling. Do not assume I’m writing this from some angry place. I feel really grounded and happy, but I need to live honestly. I am unfortunately still afraid of BBNG. They have so many resources, so much legal power, a huge instagram following and are on one of the biggest labels in the world. That’s why it’s taken me so long to post it. But I can’t let my fear get in the way anymore. To whoever reads all this, thanks. Love Matt.
